Healing Stories: Struggling “I was so lost…”

Why?Healing stories, “I was so lost…”

 

Millions of Americans wake up every day lost in life. Maybe they’re struggling with money. They’re in a relationship they can’t fix. They’re overweight, struggling with not only health issues but with self-esteem. Or maybe they’re struggling with addiction.

The bottom line is… Millions of Americans are lost in life right now.

For the past 37 years, counselor, life coach, number one best-selling author and radio host David Essel has had one mission only… “To help lift the spirits of 1 million people or more every day.”

The story David is going to share with us today, comes from one of his clients who was absolutely lost in life… And what he did to totally turn it around.

” My work over the past 37 years has been to help people find direction in life. People who are lost, confused, frustrated, addicted and more.

A while ago I received a call from a man who said that he needed help in every area of life. He had struggled deeply with an addiction to opiates, alcohol, nicotine, weight and so much more.

He said he was motivated. He was ready. Of course everyone says that, but there are a few people who are truly ready to do everything that they possibly can to change their lives.

He was one of them. Totally lost, and about to find himself for possibly the first time in his existence. He was raised in an addicted household.

Alcohol and drugs were part of the every day existence of many members of his family. So he became the environment that he lived in.

His latest struggle was an all out battle with opiate addiction, combined with alcohol, nicotine and his low self-esteem had allowed him to gain 80 pounds. More than he had ever weighed in his life.

In his first session we went into a discussion about the power of the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind. He was eating it up like a sponge drinks water. He was asking questions. He was taking notes. He was talking about action steps that he wanted me to help him create, so within the next seven days he was on the path to freedom. He wanted to find himself now.

Over the course of several months he got to see how his environment as a young child had molded him into the addict he was today.

Whenever you’re in an environment where adults use alcohol on a regular basis, or prescription drugs, or siblings who may be experimenting with drugs and alcohol and encourage you to be part of their world… The odds of moving through that type of childhood into adulthood free of addiction are incredibly tiny.

When we did an exercise looking at all the emotions he was running from, through the use of alcohol, drugs and nicotine, as well as food, and he was blown away. His subconscious mind had accepted a pattern that this was normal. Absolutely normal. But of course this and result of his life has been nothing but abnormal.

He looked back and thought that by now in his life he should be a millionaire. He looked at his relationship with his wife and thought it is nowhere near where it needs to be. He came in about the second month more fired up than I’d ever seen him.

He was taking the brain chemistry supplements I recommended and was feeling incredible. He had cut down is nicotine from 20 pieces of nicotine gum a day to five and soon that would go to one.

When I describe the importance of exercise, as a way to release endorphins in the brain to help lift his spirits and give him energy, he knew it was true but couldn’t figure out how to fit it into his schedule with his long workdays. But he was about to change everything. When he came in the next week with his new schedule of eating every four hours, which he had never done before, exercising at 4:30 in the morning, even I was blown away!

I kept saying to myself… Here was a guy that just a month ago who was totally lost… Who is really finding himself now.

His new schedule was impressive. Up at 3:45 in the morning. Meditation. Affirmations. Journaling. In the gym at 5 o’clock in the morning. Out of the gym at 7:30 in the morning. Into work by 8 o’clock, and back home by 6 o’clock. What a day!

And then came the rebuilding of his marriage. He started leaving notes for his wife every morning as he left early for the gym. Short little notes. “I love you. I will miss you today. I can’t wait to see you tonight. ”

He was lost… And now once again he was finding himself in a marriage he had always wanted to be this special, loving, kind.

We got into the discussion of the power of thought and he quickly picked up that our thoughts would only account for 20% of our success… The other 80%? Action into the uncomfortable. But he also saw that once he started to do the action steps into the uncomfortable… They just became a part of his life.

He was lost… Now he had found himself. His life. His marriage. Even his work picked up dramatically as he started to see the difference that he was making in the lives of others, and how work continued to pour in almost faster than he could handle it.

The icing on the cake for me actually came as a surprise phone call from his wife one day after we had ended working together for over a month. As she started talking of course my concern was hoping that he had not gone back to his old ways but the opposite was true.

She was filled with joy. She commented about the notes that he left every morning, and how they had made a complete difference in their marriage… Yes little notes in the morning had made a complete difference in their marriage.

Now, comes the best part. Not only is he changing his life by eating 4-5 times times a day, and going to the gym every day, but she has started to join him multiple days a week at the gym. Their marriage is solid.

Are you lost? Do you struggle with weight? Addiction? Emotional spending? Low self-esteem? Low self-confidence?

I can tell you firsthand after being in this industry for 37 years, that this type of turn around in someone’s life demands incredible effort, and it is worth every ounce of effort that you will give it.

I am so proud of this former client. You can do the same thing. Are you ready? Contact us at www.davidessel.com and we will help you achieve the life you’ve always wanted.”

Healing Stories: Forgiveness “Did God Let Her Down?”

Forgiveness – Healing Stories: “Did God Let Her Down?”

Life is not fair. There are times when we wish that it was fair but in reality it’s not. Really wonderful people have terrible events that they have to go through in their life and many times we will never know the real reason why.

Through these challenges many people question if there even is a God, or if God is paying any attention. There are times that we have to look within and try to find faith that things happen for reasons. But even this philosophy can’t help us when we’re in deep and immense pain.

Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host David Essel, for the past 27 years, has helped individuals that are trying to figure out why life is treating them the way it is. And some have even asked him during sessions with him, how could God let this happen to me?

Here’s a story from David himself, that illuminates the question about whether God would actually let someone down. Or was there a bigger reason for the tragedy that we have to go through?

“A number of years ago a young woman came to me to try to work through her frustrations in life. She was 100 pounds overweight, worked in dead-end jobs, was extremely unhappy in any dating relationship she was ever in, and had reached what we call a rock bottom.

Frustrated. Disgusted with herself. And angry. But she really wasn’t sure who she was angry at?

After a few weeks of doing work together she shared with me a story that she hadn’t told many other people. The story that she shared gave me great insight as to why she was so unhappy in life. It gave great insight to why she carried so much extra weight. And why, after all these years, she continued to date men that were unhealthy.

You see, when she was in high school, she watched her younger sister get off the bus like the little girl did every day, and walk in front of the bus into their driveway and then to their house. But this day was different. Normally my client would walk ahead of her sister, but today on this one day, she got hung up talking to a friend of hers and her little sister scooted between her arms and raced out the bus door excited to be home and to see her mom.

The next thing my client sees is the little girl walking in front of the bus crossing the road and a car coming head-on hits her. She dies instantly.

For over 30 years my client held the story within. She had never worked with a counselor before. Her family discouraged her from talking about that tragic day. In 30+ years she had never visited her sisters grave. She had never thought about how much she missed her sister because it was too painful to think about.

So instead she self medicated with food. Or occasional sex with a guy she knew wasn’t good for her. To beat herself up for the choice she made of not to be the one to walk off the bus first, as she did every other day, she hung onto menial jobs, doing limited work, just trying to survive in life.

When she told me the story I was flabbergasted over many of the details. That her family never wanted to talk about missing the young girl? That my client had never thought about processing through her grief, shame, guilt and anger?

As I asked her about all of these emotions she blurted out how much she hated God! How God had let her down, by allowing a drunk driver to kill her innocent little sister. She was mad as hell at God. At herself. And her family for refusing to talk about the precious life that was no longer on earth.

Can you imagine how difficult it would be holding all these emotions in? Shame? Guilt? Resentment, anger, rage?

As we worked together, each one of these emotions were giving plenty of time to be processed. Every week for over a year we continued working through the emotions, forgiving herself, even reaching the state of forgiving God. She realized, God did not direct the driver to kill her sister, even though at times she felt he did. We worked on her forgiving her family, because they didn’t know how to deal with their own anger, rage, and guilt. She was able to forgive them for the space they were currently in.

Eventually, she got to the greatest prize at all, she forgave herself. And on the very day that we had this massive breakthrough, for the first time in over 30 years, she went to her a little sister’s grave and left a letter for her.

The next month, she went and left another letter with flowers. Some evenings she would sit in her bathtub with candles lit all around a pad of paper and pen in hand, yes even in the bathtub, and write love letters to her sister. How much she missed her. How sorry she was for what happened. She even asked her sister to forgive her for not being the first one off the bus.

It was an immense amount of work! At the end of two years her work was done. Should evolved so deeply, so greatly into a loving, compassionate person. Once she released all of her own shame and guilt she was able to communicate with her sister on a daily basis. She prayed to her. She prayed for her sister. And she ended up creating this incredibly joyful relationship with a little girl who is no longer here on earth.

The end of the story is beautiful. The end of the story was actually surprising to me because this client put so much effort and work into trying to heal and it never seemed to be coming fast enough. In the end, the timing was perfect.

How about you? Are there feelings or emotions that you’re running from? Not wanting to face? Could there be shame or guilt that still resides within you? Or deep resentment or anger at God, your family, a former lover, a former employer, a former best friend?

This article highlights the power of writing. Every day for two years, my client wrote about her emotions. Every week for two straight years we met for an hour, over the phone, to help her process the emotions. It was hard, hard work. And the end result as I mentioned above was stunningly beautiful.

I wish the same could happen to you. If you’re willing to do the work we can release all submerged emotions and rise from the ashes to become the person we’ve always meant to be.

Don’t wait another day to get help. Reach out to a counselor, coach, minister, priest, a rabbi… Anyone in the healing profession can help you. Make today the day you reach out and ask for that help. You deserve it. ”

Learn more about David and his one on one coaching and counseling here… http://davidessel.com/life-relationship-business-coach/

If you would like to reach David to help you with any current crisis that you’re going through, please email him through the website www.davidessel.com

David Essel, M.S. – Partial Client List

  • Accudata Corp.
  • American Airlines – Miami Mile Expo Master of Ceremonies
  • Anheuser Busch – Prof. Development Seminar
  • Beasley Broadasting Corporation
  • Beazer Homes
  • Budget Rent-A-Car – National Television Tour
  • Cadence Design Systems – Prof. Development Seminar
  • Carl Marsh Productions – Television Infomercial “Fit Bench”
  • Cayman Islands Cancer Society Annual Fund-Raiser
  • Center to Self Reliance
  • Champs Sports – Professional Development Video
  • Chico’s Corporate Headquarters
  • Club Industry International Conference
  • Cox Cable Communications – Television Host
  • Discover Card – National Sales and Marketing Conference
  • Florida Heart Associates Service Award Banquet
  • Florida Heart Association
  • FOX Television
  • Guardian ad Litem Annual Conference
  • Healthy Heart Program – New York State Annual Conf.
  • Ida Baker High School
  • Interop Technologies
  • Int’l Association of Conventions and Visitor’s Bureaus
  • Int’l Exhibitors’ Association (IEA) Annual Convention
  • Int’l Platform Association (IPA) Annual Conference
  • ITT Sheraton – Franchise Hotel Owners Annual Conference
  • Lee Memorial Health Systems
  • Lifetime Television Network – Motivation and Health Correspondent
  • Linvatec / Bristol-Myers Squibb National Sales Conference
  • March of Dimes – National Conference
  • Michael Saunders Real Estate Company
  • Naples Community Hospital
  • National Center for Missing and Exploited Children – Master of Ceremonies, 40 City Tour
  • Nestlé – National Sales Conference
  • Nordic Trak – National Television Commercial
  • Oswald Trippe Annual Meeting
  • Pagenet – Prof. Development Seminar, 4 National Events
  • Parade of Homes – Awards Gala Host
  • Sanibel and Captiva Properties
  • SKY Sotheby’s International Realty Annual Retreat
  • South Carolina Conf. for the Promotion of Physical Activity
  • Tilly’s, Los Angeles, California – Keynote Presentation
  • Trillium Communications – Presentation for Non-Profit and For-Profit Organizations
  • USDA Forest Service Annual Conference
  • VIP Realty
  • Washington State Judicial Education Conference
  • Westwood One – National Radio Talk Show Host
  • Women’s Board of Realtors
  • WWOR Television – Motivation and Health Correspondent