Healing Stories: Codependency – “My Mom Ruins My Life…Every Day”

Healing Stories: Codependency – “My Mom Ruins My Life…Every Day”

Millions of people around the world had crappy childhoods. Parents that are ignorant. Addicted. Self-centered. That have no ability to teach love, respect, honesty or integrity.

And millions of individuals choose to rise above their experiences, by doing really intense deep work with a counselor, minister, life coach and more.

And on the other hand, unfortunately, millions upon millions more decide to stay stuck in victimhood. They continue to blame their parents for the crappy life they live as adults.

Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host David Essel has helped millions of people over the past 37 years to overcome terrible childhood’s. But unfortunately, he’s also lost the battle with thousands more, who choose to stay victims in life.

The story below, from David’s number one best-selling book on positive thinking, illustrates the challenge of overcoming victimhood, as adults trying to live happily in the world today.

” I had received a phone call from a potential client that wanted to work on her relationships with men. She had been married multiple times, all of them ending in divorce, multiple children from multiple different fathers… And her life is spinning out of control.

But I had no idea when she came in for our first session, that the real issue she had went back to childhood. And that her drama and chaos continued today, because of her inability to let go of the past, as well as to let go of her current relationship with her mom which had spiraled for 30 years totally out of control.

As 0ur work continued, I was getting the full story. As a little girl, her mom chastised her, made fun of her for not being able to comprehend math. As the years went by, the chastising increased until when this girl was in high school, she dropped out. She couldn’t handle the constant criticism when her mom would tell her that she was dumb, stupid, and couldn’t figure out the simplest of math equations.

Now in my clients defense, this is a terrible, obviously an extremely emotionally abusive childhood to have for anyone. When you have your parent, or parents, criticizing you for being stupid, or lazy, or ignorant or whatever it might be , imprints within the subconscious mind, that we are worthless.

And so this young girl acted out her mom’s statements. By dropping out of high school, she proved her mom was right. That she wasn’t smart at all.

After a few years however something magical happened. She found a profession that she loved, A trade school gave her the foundation to be able to become her own boss.

By the age of 21, with no high school education and no GED, she opened her first business and earned $150,000 that year!

Now this sounds like a fairytale ending doesn’t it? The only problem is, is that this young girl had an extremely disturbingly codependent relationship with her mom. Her mom continued to tell her that while she was making this money that she was going to blow it… She didn’t know how to handle her money… Or her taxes… Or her bills… Or anything. And the young girl proved her mom right.

No matter how much money she made, she was constantly broke. And mom was right there the whole time telling her how ignorant she was with money, further putting into her subconscious mind that she was a worthless businesswoman.

And because of the statements from her mom, this young girl invited her mom into her business to do her books. And then her taxes. She believed her mom was right that she was ignorant around money, math and more and she couldn’t do this on her own… But that her mom who was brilliant with money supposedly, would come and rescue her.

Fast forward to the first two weeks I worked with this young woman, she was now in her early 40s. And guess what? Mom was still tagging along. Every week reminding her how stupid she was with money, and thank God her mom was with her in order to pay her bills, do her taxes, and generally harass the hell out of her about her ignorance.

Since this young woman was still trapped in this relationship with her mom, and told on a weekly and monthly basis how stupid she was, she could never grow past her mom’s comments.

Within a few weeks I was offering her the options of slowly removing her mom from her life. It was really the only way to go. She didn’t have the strength to stand up to her mom for more than a couple weeks, and so the best option for her would’ve been to eliminate mom from her life for a short period of time, maybe only 90 days, so she could start to regain some self-esteem, confidence and learn that there are many other accountants out there who could help her with her business and her taxes.

But this is where the power of codependency comes into play. In 2002, I said that “codependency is the largest addiction in the world today.”

And it is. This young woman was so codependent with her mom, that even though her mom was raging at her on a regular basis about how stupid she was… This young woman could not break those chains. That, is codependency at its worst.

It was shortly after my client and I had talked about an escape plan with her mom, that she stopped coming in for her work. And I told her it might happen. I told her that if her codependency was as deep as I thought, the solution would scare the hell out of her. Even though her mom was a horrendous person in her life, she could not pull herself away from this relationship… Mom had gotten her tentacles into this young girls brain and even in her 40s, she continued to believe her mom’s Words.

You are stupid. You are ignorant with math. You’re ignorant with money. Without me your life would absolutely suck.

Even though the statements weren’t true… The codependent takes them as fact.

Unfortunately, this story does not have a happy ending. But it does offer a great warning sign for everyone else in the world.

If you are in any type of a relationship with a mother, father, partner, friend, coworker, boss… And you are an adult… And you’re allowing them to demean you, to put you down, it is your responsibility and yours alone to shatter this terrible addiction of codependency.

No one deserves this. But like all addictions, they are hard as hell to break. And almost impossible to break on your own.

From her 20s to her 40s, unfortunately, this young woman is constantly in financial stress. She’s constantly owing people thousands upon thousands of dollars. She has zero self-esteem. Zero self-confidence. And in my humble opinion, until we totally break away from these type of people… We will never reach inner peace, or our full potential.

It’s up to you. I do not agree with the philosophy that “well they’re my family, you can’t abandon a family member.” That statement is absolutely ridiculous! If you use that to justify staying with a family member who emotionally puts you down or abuses you… That is insanity.

On the other side, we have helped thousands of people in similar circumstances to the client I’ve written about above, to break free, to create their own life, their own independence… And find inner peace and contentment sometimes without any contact with a family member for the rest of your life.

Now I don’t think everyone has to completely eliminate a person who is unkind, condescending or emotionally abusive… But I do believe that we need to learn to set serious boundaries with consequences, in order to regain our own sense of self, self-confidence and self-esteem.

You can do this. We will never do it on our own. We will need help from a counselor, coach, therapist, minister or more in order to shatter the tentacles of codependency. Make sure you’re doing this today.”

If you need help with this type of the situation, visit David’s website and look under the specialty courses for his number one best-selling course on codependency, at http://davidessel.com/co-dependency-kills/

 

Healing Stories: Struggling “I was so lost…”

Why?Healing stories, “I was so lost…”

 

Millions of Americans wake up every day lost in life. Maybe they’re struggling with money. They’re in a relationship they can’t fix. They’re overweight, struggling with not only health issues but with self-esteem. Or maybe they’re struggling with addiction.

The bottom line is… Millions of Americans are lost in life right now.

For the past 37 years, counselor, life coach, number one best-selling author and radio host David Essel has had one mission only… “To help lift the spirits of 1 million people or more every day.”

The story David is going to share with us today, comes from one of his clients who was absolutely lost in life… And what he did to totally turn it around.

” My work over the past 37 years has been to help people find direction in life. People who are lost, confused, frustrated, addicted and more.

A while ago I received a call from a man who said that he needed help in every area of life. He had struggled deeply with an addiction to opiates, alcohol, nicotine, weight and so much more.

He said he was motivated. He was ready. Of course everyone says that, but there are a few people who are truly ready to do everything that they possibly can to change their lives.

He was one of them. Totally lost, and about to find himself for possibly the first time in his existence. He was raised in an addicted household.

Alcohol and drugs were part of the every day existence of many members of his family. So he became the environment that he lived in.

His latest struggle was an all out battle with opiate addiction, combined with alcohol, nicotine and his low self-esteem had allowed him to gain 80 pounds. More than he had ever weighed in his life.

In his first session we went into a discussion about the power of the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind. He was eating it up like a sponge drinks water. He was asking questions. He was taking notes. He was talking about action steps that he wanted me to help him create, so within the next seven days he was on the path to freedom. He wanted to find himself now.

Over the course of several months he got to see how his environment as a young child had molded him into the addict he was today.

Whenever you’re in an environment where adults use alcohol on a regular basis, or prescription drugs, or siblings who may be experimenting with drugs and alcohol and encourage you to be part of their world… The odds of moving through that type of childhood into adulthood free of addiction are incredibly tiny.

When we did an exercise looking at all the emotions he was running from, through the use of alcohol, drugs and nicotine, as well as food, and he was blown away. His subconscious mind had accepted a pattern that this was normal. Absolutely normal. But of course this and result of his life has been nothing but abnormal.

He looked back and thought that by now in his life he should be a millionaire. He looked at his relationship with his wife and thought it is nowhere near where it needs to be. He came in about the second month more fired up than I’d ever seen him.

He was taking the brain chemistry supplements I recommended and was feeling incredible. He had cut down is nicotine from 20 pieces of nicotine gum a day to five and soon that would go to one.

When I describe the importance of exercise, as a way to release endorphins in the brain to help lift his spirits and give him energy, he knew it was true but couldn’t figure out how to fit it into his schedule with his long workdays. But he was about to change everything. When he came in the next week with his new schedule of eating every four hours, which he had never done before, exercising at 4:30 in the morning, even I was blown away!

I kept saying to myself… Here was a guy that just a month ago who was totally lost… Who is really finding himself now.

His new schedule was impressive. Up at 3:45 in the morning. Meditation. Affirmations. Journaling. In the gym at 5 o’clock in the morning. Out of the gym at 7:30 in the morning. Into work by 8 o’clock, and back home by 6 o’clock. What a day!

And then came the rebuilding of his marriage. He started leaving notes for his wife every morning as he left early for the gym. Short little notes. “I love you. I will miss you today. I can’t wait to see you tonight. ”

He was lost… And now once again he was finding himself in a marriage he had always wanted to be this special, loving, kind.

We got into the discussion of the power of thought and he quickly picked up that our thoughts would only account for 20% of our success… The other 80%? Action into the uncomfortable. But he also saw that once he started to do the action steps into the uncomfortable… They just became a part of his life.

He was lost… Now he had found himself. His life. His marriage. Even his work picked up dramatically as he started to see the difference that he was making in the lives of others, and how work continued to pour in almost faster than he could handle it.

The icing on the cake for me actually came as a surprise phone call from his wife one day after we had ended working together for over a month. As she started talking of course my concern was hoping that he had not gone back to his old ways but the opposite was true.

She was filled with joy. She commented about the notes that he left every morning, and how they had made a complete difference in their marriage… Yes little notes in the morning had made a complete difference in their marriage.

Now, comes the best part. Not only is he changing his life by eating 4-5 times times a day, and going to the gym every day, but she has started to join him multiple days a week at the gym. Their marriage is solid.

Are you lost? Do you struggle with weight? Addiction? Emotional spending? Low self-esteem? Low self-confidence?

I can tell you firsthand after being in this industry for 37 years, that this type of turn around in someone’s life demands incredible effort, and it is worth every ounce of effort that you will give it.

I am so proud of this former client. You can do the same thing. Are you ready? Contact us at www.davidessel.com and we will help you achieve the life you’ve always wanted.”

Healing Stories: Relationships – My Husband Was Not The Man I Was Looking For

Healing Stories: Relationships – My Husband Was Not The Man I Was Looking For.

Relationships…Imagine this. You’re on the search for the man of your dreams. People have convinced you that you must find your soulmate in life in order to feel complete, whole and happy. And you buy into that story. Your life is not complete without the super special hero that you’ve been looking for for two years .

Over the past 27 years, number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host David Essel has helped hundreds of women in the same predicament. They feel less than, as they watch their girlfriends get married, have babies, and create the dreams of their lives. Or so they think.

And in their work with David, many of them find something magical that has nothing to do with the soulmate myth. Let’s have David talk about one special woman that he worked with, and how the man of her dreams, was never the husband she was actually looking for.

“A number of years ago I g0t an email from a woman who would listen to my radio show. In the email it was quite clear that she was looking for her soulmate. She felt that she was incomplete. She was not a whole. But she told me in the email that if I could help her find the man of her dreams, her life would finally be worth living. And she even sent me a description of what this man would look like.

She said that he would be 6 feet tall or taller, blonde hair, blue eyes and he would be earning a salary of $150,000 or more every year. Would I be willing to help her find this special superman of a husband?

As I read the email I thought oh my gosh this girls been reading too many books on soulmates. And sure enough, when she walked into my office that proved to be true. She had attended so many soulmate workshops, had read all the number one best-selling books on how to find your soulmate… that she was convinced he was out there, but obviously she just needed my help for a few weeks in order to push her in the direction where she could locate him and ride off into the sunset on his huge white steed.

But surprises were in store for her. During our first couple sessions I said that it was interesting that she had all these preconceived notion’s of his height, haircolor and income… and of course she even had a vision board with pictures of men that look something like this hero she was looking for.

All over the vision board were quotations about income, quotations about the perfect soulmate husband… And I asked her would she be interested in following a slightly different path to find a really great husband?

She asked me to explain. So I said I want you to create a list of the personality characteristics that you’re looking for. Such as is he a good communicator? Is he funny? Is he trustworthy? And I asked her to go home and create a list of all of these attributes that could be the starting point to look for in a great man who could be husband material.

She came into the session, threw her notes down, and said David that exercise was boring as hell. I hope I’m not going to have to stay on this path because I’ve got all these vision boards made and I want to find that man that I’m looking for.

I smiled, shook my head and said we are in for a great ride. If you follow through with what I say I promise you you’ll find a great guy to potentially become a husband.

After a few weeks in following my system she said she had had enough. That she want to go back to all the famous books and authors that focused on pictures on a vision board, not the silly characteristics I was asking her to write about.

Fast forward a number of years. I’m at a large convention speaking on stage, I get off the stage and there’s a line of people that I go through each and everyone of them answering questions. At the very end of the line was a woman waiting patiently. When I came up to her she asks if I remembered her ?

I barely could but I couldn’t figure out from where. And then she said I’m your soulmate woman. With that statement we both started laughing so hard. She said I have to ask you if you have a half an hour for coffee, and tell you a story you’re going to love to hear.

As she started sharing the story I knew the direction she was going in. She told me when she left the office and she was not impressed with my work at all. No surprises there! But after a couple more months of chasing this perfect hunk of a man on her vision boards she pulled out the list of characteristics I had asked her to focus on.

And at that time, as she was looking at these characteristics, of a man who is trustworthy, funny, open with his emotions, determined to be successful in business and relationships, she decided to put her vision boards away and to start focusing on these attributes.

It was at the same time that she got a call from a former business partner, who also opened his own business just like she did, and he asked her to meet once a week for lunch to go over how they could become accountability partners for each other… So they could each grow their business at a faster rate.

She had so much fun with the lunches the times flew by. One day when he got up to go to the bathroom, a girlfriend she hadn’t seen in a while came over and started to remark to her about all the sparks flying between her and this new boyfriend. She immediately refused to accept that title that this guy was her new boyfriend. She thanked her friend, and said that’s no kind of a boyfriend I want, he’s just a good friend of mine and we’re doing business deals together.

Her friend, wouldn’t buy it and told her that the energy was electric between her and this man from across the room. And she should think about that whole thing of soulmates and maybe give this guy a chance to be in a relationship with her.

As her friend left the table all she could do was shake her head and say that is a silly idea. There’s no way this guy is what I want. He short, bald, a little overweight, nothing like my soulmate pictures.

But when she went home and started to revisit all the personality characteristics that her and I had come up with… She was sitting in shock. He was hilarious. He was a great listener. He was interested in her day. He was interested in her life. He was interested in her opinions about business. He was always on time. Respectful. Could this be a guy that I would even want to date? The thought continued to haunt her.

She knew he didn’t make $150,000 year. He sure as hell wasn’t 6 foot tall, he had no hair, his eyes were not blue… But then she slowed down. And said just maybe.

As the weeks went by she started to feel more drawn to him. Every time he laughed hysterically at their lunch meetings together, she couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. Every once in a while he would send her a sweet text, nothing mushy, but it always tied into something she had specifically said at their meetings. He actually paid attention to her mind as well as her smile!

Then my former client looks at me… And before she starts talking, there’s tears falling down my cheeks. She smiled and said, thank you so much David, you were right. He overwhelmed me with love, and we’ve been married for a number of years. I never would’ve seen the beauty in this man if you hadn’t guided me with so much wisdom in the art of this relationship.

We hugged and walked away. It made me reflect upon the beauty of her open mindedness. About her willingness to move away from the “mass consciousness nonsense of the perfect soulmate on a vision board “concept.

And I’m not saying that vision boards are stupid, or soulmate ideas are ridiculous but I just know the reality of relationships after being in this business for 37 years, is that sometimes, not all the times, but sometimes people get so focused on what the gurus are teaching us that we start believing in their words versus following our heart.

If you truly want deep love, a beautiful relationship, email me at the website www.davidessel.com and let’s look at what some of your beliefs are that may be unhealthy regarding love and relationships, and find a way to turn them around so you can you create and experience the type of love you desire.”

David Essel, marriage, relationship, abusive relationship, happy marriage, healthy relationships, how to save a relationship, David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life…

Healing Stories: Relationships – Men Are All Dogs!

Healing Stories: Men Are All Dogs!

Relationships are either Hell on earth, or Heaven on earth. And depending upon your past experiences it’s very easy to fall victim to the belief that relationships should either be easy, effortless and rewarding or for the most part that all relationships simply suck.

What was the relationship of your mom and dad growing up? Or if you were raised in a single household, what did your mom teach you, or tell you about relationships? What did your dad teach you or tell you about relationships? Were they optimistic? Or negative?

Many of our beliefs come from childhood. What we saw in our own household, can implant a belief system in the subconscious mind about the positive or negative side of relationships.

For the past 27 years, number one best-selling author, counselor and life coach David Essel has been helping both men and women get really clear about how to create healthy relationships. He also specializes in helping people to even begin to understand if this time in their life is the right time to be engaged in any form of romantic love.

Unfortunately, many people are seeking love in this current day and time, when they aren’t mentally prepared to give love in return. Confused? Let’s have David share his own story of a client he worked with a number of years ago to make all of this perfectly clear.

Men Are All Dogs!

” In the mid 90s I got a phone call from a woman who lived on the west coast of the United States who had been a frequent listener to my radio show. She had heard me talk about creating deep love and was skeptical but hopeful at the same time that she might be able to do exactly that. She hired me to be her counselor and about 30 minutes into the first session I asked her about her belief systems regarding men. Were they trustworthy in her mind? Were they honest in her opinion? Within about 1.5 seconds she blurted out a line I’ll never forget.

“Men are all dogs David!”

The force that she used when she said those words were incredible. I had to let it sink in. And after I thought for a second I asked her why she felt so angry at men. Her forceful reply was filled with anger maybe even to the point of rage.

She went on to tell me that every man she ever dated had cheated on her. If not immediately within the first year of the relationship. She said it was simple, men are programmed to cheat, and lie, so finding someone to have a true partnership with would nearly be impossible in her life.

As we continued to work together over the weeks and months I started to throw little bones out there about how our beliefs sometimes create our reality. During one session she asked me to clarify what I had said. When I asked her what she thought I meant by that statement she said “don’t tell me to start thinking that if I change my beliefs I could attract great guys because there’s no such thing.”

I told her there was no rush.  That over time in doing all of the exercises in writing I was giving her that her beliefs would normally start to change. She doubted me. Which I totally understood.

We started then working on who she hung around without a weekly basis and more and more clues were coming to the surface. Every Friday night her and her best girlfriends would go to a few different local bars, hang together in a little clique, and look around at all “The men who were really dogs” in the bar.

A look at the ring finger where there might of been a white space, proving that this man was married but he was a dog out looking for sex.

They even had it down to what they believed was their own little perfect science. Together as a group they would rate men on their “doggedness” by the clothes they wore, the jewelry they wore, and even their haircut.

As she continued to share all this information with me I knew there was going to have to be some radical changes in her mind and her actions in order to get her to see that not all men were dogs.

So I challenged her. I asked her that instead of going out with the girls for drinks to judge men, to do something radically different for the next four Fridays. She was shocked. She kept telling me that this is what they do for fun. And I was able to show her that in her “fun night with the girls” she was actually embedding in her mind proof that men are all dogs.

At the end of four weeks of ceasing to go out with these girls her mind was starting to change.

At the same time I was having her do some written exercises to release her resentments against men. As well as resentments against her father, who was not faithful during the marriage to her mom. I was able to help her see where the beliefs that men are all dogs came from, and just maybe, why she was carrying that now into her late 30s in life.

It took about six months of working with her for all of this to change. And when it did she was an absolutely totally changed person!

And of course you know what’s going to happen next. As she changed her beliefs and her actions about men, she started to run into guys that were not dogs at all. That were trustworthy. That were nice. That were gentleman.

Another three months went by and then the miracle happened . She fell in love with a super great guy! She couldn’t wait to call me for a session and tell me all about this new love and through the work that she had done with me, by releasing her poor belief systems about men, she had actually attracted a really great guy.

During our very last session I remember her words. “David, I have a great job, my own house, a new car and now an amazing new man in my life. Thank you for opening my eyes about the power of belief systems and how I have been living underneath a rock for all these years.”

The change took time as you can see. And it was more than just trying to change her thoughts She had to change her actions too and eventually even change her friends. Was it worth it? Hell yes. And the same can happen to you.”

If you struggle with relationships, as David stated above, the best thing in the world to do is to start to evaluate where your beliefs came from, and how you might be ingraining these beliefs on a deeper level through your thoughts and actions as well.

Contact David for for one-on-one help with all your relationship goals… http://davidessel.com/life-relationship-business-coach/

If David can help you with changing any part of your life, feel free to contact him at www.davidessel.com

David Essel, marriage, relationship, abusive relationship, happy marriage, healthy relationships, how to save a relationship, David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life…

Healing Stories: The Saving of a Marriage

For most of us, marriage is hard work. Really hard work. And it seems with the divorce rate of over 50%, that a lot of us think marriage should be something effortless, like the old fantasy speak when people talk about finding your soulmate and never ever arguing for the rest of your lives together.

I wish it was true. But, after 27 years as a counselor and a life coach I can tell you that most successful marriages come about when people are able to ask for help, reach outside of themselves, to take care of the resentments and issues that may have been with a couple for a very long period of time.

About 10 years ago a woman came in to work with me after being in a dysfunctional marriage for a number of years. Everything came to a head, when her and her husband got into a physical altercation in their home.

A restraining order was placed upon him, and because they had a small child, the only way they could meet was on a very limited period of time in a very public setting.

During our sessions she would often wonder aloud if she should ever consider taking her husband back. He had been through anger management counseling, by then the restraining order had been dropped, and they were seeing each other a couple days a week mainly so he could see their young child.

I told her that number one she would have to take full responsibility for her role in the physical altercation that lead to her husband being taken to jail, and the concept of divorce was very real and in their faces.

Within a couple weeks she had done just that. Even though she wasn’t the one who had started the altercation, she accepted her role as someone who would push his buttons many times, in this case one too many, that helped push him over the edge.

Within another month or two he contacted me and said that he wanted to start working with me as well since he had completed his court ordered counseling.

Now to the average person, there is not even a question here. Divorce him now! As a matter of fact that’s what most people in her family said would be the best option, but she wasn’t so sure.

Due to this experience, his mind was wide open. He followed everything I asked him to write about, read about, he showed up on time for sessions and even did extra homework that I had never requested.

She did the same thing. She continued to come and work with me for over a year, as they tried to make a decision that would be best for them and best for their young child.

At the end of the year of working together they asked for my opinion. It was easy for me to look at both of them together in one session and tell them I thought they had what it took to bring their love back together, because we had already examined what led to the confrontations in the first place.

Their marriage grew stronger. Their love grew stronger. There was nothing getting in their way, and they created the most incredible love relationship out of something that seemed like absolute hell.

Regardless of how difficult your relationship might be, when both people come to the plate with an open mind and are willing to do the work necessary to heal their love, healing can take place.

You might be reading this and think that in your marriage, even though it’s filled with drama, it’s nowhere near this bad. But, if you want a great relationship instead of a mediocre one, that’s when we reach out for help.

I am so proud of this couple. I’m so proud of the thousands of couples I’ve worked with that Have created something beautiful in love, when they are on their backs hitting bottom.

If you’d like a few steps to help improve your marriage or relationship, whether it is seriously on the rocks or just not meeting your expectations , Please do the following:

Number one. Write down all of the things that attracted you to your partner in the beginning. What was it about them that made them special? Unique? A good fit for you?

Number two. This will take some deep, honest, soul-searching. How have you let your partner down? What have you done that has not been in the best interest of your relationship? Is it passive aggressive behavior? Have you become resistant to their needs? Have you become selfish with your time? Are you struggling with an addiction, that you need help with?

Number three. When you look at the above responsibilities that come from your side of the fence in this relationship, create a list of action steps that you can do to improve how you act with and around your partner. Don’t fall into the victim mentality state, where everything that’s gone wrong with your relationship is their fault. It rarely if ever is.

Number four. Ask for help. Whether it’s with a counselor, coach, minister, rabbi or anyone else in the world of relationships… Don’t do it on your own. Reach out for help. Even if it means that you go alone, because your partners not interested, many relationships have been healed with just one person reaching out for help.

If I can help you in anyway whatsoever go to our website www.davidessel.com/relationships and we can create for you, the same thing we helped this other couple create…

Deep, abiding, lasting love.

10 Reasons Why You Should Not Be Dating and Should Remain Being Single

For many people being single for any length of time is a fate worse than death.

They feel “less than”. Outcasts. Miserable.

But hold on! One of the reasons our divorce rate is over 50% is because people jump too soon into relationships and marriage. Before they are truly ready.

Below are David Essel’s “Top 10 reasons why you should stay single”, until you’ve been able to work through these issues.

1) “If you can’t handle me at my worst, YOU DO NOT DESERVE ME AT MY BEST.” People who say this are basically saying, “I am a basket case in love, and I want to do whatever I desire…and your role is to just take it.” Entitlement, at it’s worst. Stay single until you remove this nonsense from your belief systems.”

2) Anger at past lover…”If you’re still angry at a past love, who cheated, or dumped you, do not date until you have resolved this. It will come out at your next lovers as distrust, resentments etc. Clean up your past first. ”

3) Out of long term relationship or marriage less than 12 months. ” Take time to heal. Take time to look at your role in the failure of the relationship before you date. ”

4) Looking for your better half? “Do not date if you are looking for your better half, or someone to complete you. Learn how to be enough, as you are.”

5) Believe men are all dogs or women are self centered. “Past negative beliefs will destroy any future love.”

6) Want to date because your tired of being alone. “This is huge! Get comfortable entertaining yourself, or the next person will surely let you down…again.”

7) Tired of raising kids by yourself. “I hear this in my counseling/coaching practice every week. When you are looking for help like this, hire a nanny.”

8) Want someone to take care of your financial stress. “99% of relationships like this end in chaos and drama, resentments on both sides.”

9) Because your friends and family say you are the greatest catch in the world. “This does not mean you are ready to date! Clear up your past first.”

10) All of your friends are in relationships. “This screams insecurity, a terrible reason to date.”

In David’s best selling book “POSITIVE THINKING WILL NEVER CHANGE YOUR LIFE…BUT THIS BOOK WILL!”, he shares stories of people he has helped create deep love.
You can get chapter one free right here…

In his top course ” Love and Relationships”, he takes people through the steps needed to clear up the past, to be ready for love.
You can get more info on the “Love & Relationships” course right here
(MENTION YOUR READ THIS POST AND SAVE $200 OFF THE COST OF THE ABOVE COURSE!)

RELATIONSHIPS WITH AN EXPIRATION DATE?

RELATIONSHIPS, WITH AN EXPIRATION DATE?

It is sad at times…But oh so true. Many relationships have an expiration date.

Watch this super short video now.

SIGN UP NOW AND SHATTER PROCRASTINATION FOREVER!

“This is the best idea to help people Daily!!! And this was the perfect way to start our day, with talking about our main goal and writing it down and writing the steps to achieve it. I love it!”

David Essel’s “Daily Video Boost” is a daily inspirational video series that will be emailed directly to you every day, (you can join in anytime!), to give you the boost you need to make “2017 your best year ever!”

Sign up now for only $9.95 a month!

SIGN UP NOW!

 

The Most Important Component of Love? Find out

What is the most important component of love?

Is it gifts? Sex? Compatibility?

Watch this super short video to find out.

And…Happy Valentine’s Day!

About David Essel, M.S.

“David Essel’s destiny is to help you become more alive in every area of your life.” ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will, motivational speaker, coaching and mentoring career counselor, confidence, how to be confident, relationship questions, best motivational speakers, career path, healthy relationships, best way to lose weight, self confidence, money advice, addict, relationships, career assessment, life advice.

David Essel, M.S., for 30 years, has been considered one of the leading experts in the field of personal growth.

He is a #1 Best Selling Author of 9 books, a TV/Radio Host, Master Business, Relationship &

Success Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Addiction Recovery Coach and an All Faiths Minister.

His newest #1 Best selling book is : “Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… BUT THIS BOOK WILL! The Myth of Positive Thinking, THE REALITY OF SUCCESS”

Master Business, Relationship, and Success Coach, TV/Radio Host, Author of 9 Books, Inspirational Speaker

David began his career in the health and fitness industry and quickly was named “Mr. Motivation” and “The #1 Life Coach in the USA.” by Lifetime Television and “The Master of Motivation” by American Fitness magazine.

He parlayed this worldwide reputation into the world of athletes and athletics after getting his Master’s Degree in Fitness Management, where his emphasis on sport psychology led him to work as the “Mental Success Counselor” for basketball and tennis players from around the USA.

In 1990, a chance encounter with an athletic client who desired a life free of resentments against her former husband, led him deeply into the world of relationship work, with both singles and couples.

That same year he became one of the first nationally recognized Master Life Coaches in the USA, as his work was featured weekly on national radio and television shows. In 1996 David created Life Coach Universe, a Life Coach Certification organization that has certified individuals wanting to make a difference in this world from across the USA, Spain, Bermuda, and the Cayman Islands.

For 25 years, David’s nationally syndicated radio talk show, ” David Essel Alive!” has been heard via Westwood One , XM Satellite Radio and Premiere Radio/ Clear Channel Communications on iHeart Radio. David now hosts 2 nationally syndicated radio shows heard every Saturday morning and evening.

His national work as a motivational segment reporter and host in television began in 1988 with WWOR-TV, then Fox TV’s “Good Day New York” as well as Lifetime Television’s “The Image Workshop”, and the popular Fox TV show “The Morning Blend”.

David has helped thousands of people from around the world achieve their greatest goals in every area of life. From doubling and even tripling their income, to freedom from addictions, preparation for deep love, getting the body they’ve always wanted, releasing long held negative attitudes, overcoming deep depression and anxiety, overcoming emotional and sexual abuse, changing careers or creating dramatic success as business owners, public speaking, as well as helping couples recover from affairs and creating a deep personal connection with God or one’s higher power. David is a renowned expert in the field of co-dependency, where he has helped thousands of people from around the world shatter the “largest addiction known to man.”

There are no topics or circumstances David has not encountered, and helped people overcome, over the past 30 years.

His mission is to inspire others to reach their own exceptional potential in their business and personal life.

Learn more about David and what he does right here http://davidessel.com/

Make America’s Intimacy Great Again!

Make America’s Intimacy Great Again!

After seeing months of negative commentary on social media, we decided to take a different approach.

Let’s focus on enhancing our levels of physical intimacy because….

1. When you’re having sex… You won’t complain about politics.
2. When you’re having sex… You won’t complain about the marches and demonstrations
3. When you’re having more sex… You won’t be posting and arguing on Facebook.
4. When you’re having more sex… The core area of your body becomes more conditioned and toned
5. When you’re having more sex… Your immune system function is much better.
6. When you’re having more sex… Your attitude improves, you actually become a better person
Please share… Right after you have more sex… Love David ️❣️

Make America’s Intimacy Great Again!

Lets look at the facts:

Many people in relationships, as well as obviously many single individuals in the USA, complain about a lack of sexuality. They become frustrated, that one of the most pleasurable activities on the face of this planet, is somehow eluding them.

COUPLES:

For couples, in the past 36 years of my work as a counselor and life coach, when there’s too little sex in a love relationship there are dangers to look out for:

1. Can easily lead to resentment.

2. Can easily lead to arguments

3. Can easily lead to passive aggressive, negative behaviors

4. Can easily lead to emotional affairs

5. Can easily lead to physical affairs, and the possible demise or destruction of their love relationship.

Benefits of regular sex at least two times per week:

1. Improves sleep

2. Decreases stress

3. Decreases pain sensation in the body

4. Increases your desire to have more sex

5. Lowers blood pressure

6. Increases your emotional connection with your partner

7. Decreases your risk of heart attack

8. Decreases your risk of colds and flu.

SINGLE:

If you’re single, the benefits of self-love, or sexual self pleasure, also known as masturbation is:

1. For men, a possible decrease in the risk of prostate cancer

2. For men, a decrease in erectile dysfunction

3. A boost in our mood for both men and women, through the release of oxytocin and dopamine

4. Helps individuals to get to know their own body, what turns them on, so that when they’re in a relationship they know what to share with their partner

5. For teenage girls, teaching self pleasure, allows them to know that can take care of their own desires by themselves, and do not need to risk having sex with boys in order to feel sexual pleasure, DECREASING TEEN PREGNANCY AND THE SPREAD OF STD’S.

6. For teenage boys, the same applies. When they realize they can take care of their own intimate needs, there’s less risk of being with a teenage girl in order to get the benefits of sexual satisfaction, DECREASING TEEN PREGNANCY AND THE SPREAD OF STD’S.

MORE BENEFITS?

Lasting power for men.
A release of negative beliefs for women.

In David’s number one best-selling book “Positive thinking will never change your life with this book will! The myth of positive thinking, the reality of success”, he tells about his own journey to become a better, longer lasting partner .

A challenge for many men, is to learn the techniques necessary to be able to train their body to not “release to soon” during the process of making love. Through his many interviews with sex therapists, like Dr Barbara Keesling, he took these exercises to heart, which any man can, and by practicing these exercises was able to fulfill his partners desires, without releasing too soon.

In his own practice, he shared these techniques with hundreds of men, and when they practice these on their own they all found outstanding end results in the bedroom.

He has also helped thousands of women, who desire a greater enjoyment of sexuality, by helping them to work through their fears, resentments, and even guilt and shame that can inhibit, and actually destroy one’s desire for healthy sexual activity.

He’s also helped women learn how to communicate their needs, both emotional and physical regarding sex, so that their partnerships grow to a more intimate and rewarding level.

As he talks about during his lectures on intimacy, love and sexuality, people who learn how to fulfill their partners desires, while also being able to express their own wants and needs in the area of sexuality, have the most lasting and fulfilling love relationships.

NOW…………. is your chance to enhance your level of intimacy, and take advantage of all of the emotional, physical and psychological advantages that we discussed in this important post!

Join David in his popular 10 week course, “Love and Relationships”, which you can take with a friend , partner or by yourself, via phone, Skype or in David’s Florida office.

Join today right here, http://davidessel.com/love-relationships-10-hour-course
(Mention this post and save 10% if you join us before February 14, 2017!)

LOVE: JENNY MCCARTHY SHARES HER LOVE EXPERIENCES WITH DAVID

JENNY MCCARTHY SHARES HER LOVE EXPERIENCES WITH DAVID

The last time David was on Jenny McCarthy’s National Radio Show he asked her to share the mistakes she has made in love. Here you go!

Watch this super short video.

About David Essel, M.S.

“David Essel’s destiny is to help you become more alive in every area of your life.” ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will, motivational speaker, coaching and mentoring career counselor, confidence, how to be confident, relationship questions, best motivational speakers, career path, healthy relationships, best way to lose weight, self confidence, money advice, addict, relationships, career assessment, life advice

David Essel, M.S., for 30 years, has been considered one of the leading experts in the field of personal growth.

He is a #1 Best Selling Author of 9 books, a TV/Radio Host, Master Business, Relationship &

Success Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Addiction Recovery Coach and an All Faiths Minister.

His newest #1 Best selling book is : “Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… BUT THIS BOOK WILL! The Myth of Positive Thinking, THE REALITY OF SUCCESS”

Master Business, Relationship, and Success Coach, TV/Radio Host, Author of 9 Books, Inspirational Speaker

David began his career in the health and fitness industry and quickly was named “Mr. Motivation” and “The #1 Life Coach in the USA.” by Lifetime Television and “The Master of Motivation” by American Fitness magazine.

He parlayed this worldwide reputation into the world of athletes and athletics after getting his Master’s Degree in Fitness Management, where his emphasis on sport psychology led him to work as the “Mental Success Counselor” for basketball and tennis players from around the USA.

In 1990, a chance encounter with an athletic client who desired a life free of resentments against her former husband, led him deeply into the world of relationship work, with both singles and couples.

That same year he became one of the first nationally recognized Master Life Coaches in the USA, as his work was featured weekly on national radio and television shows. In 1996 David created Life Coach Universe, a Life Coach Certification organization that has certified individuals wanting to make a difference in this world from across the USA, Spain, Bermuda, and the Cayman Islands.

For 25 years, David’s nationally syndicated radio talk show, ” David Essel Alive!” has been heard via Westwood One , XM Satellite Radio and Premiere Radio/ Clear Channel Communications on iHeart Radio. David now hosts 2 nationally syndicated radio shows heard every Saturday morning and evening.

His national work as a motivational segment reporter and host in television began in 1988 with WWOR-TV, then Fox TV’s “Good Day New York” as well as Lifetime Television’s “The Image Workshop”, and the popular Fox TV show “The Morning Blend”.

David has helped thousands of people from around the world achieve their greatest goals in every area of life. From doubling and even tripling their income, to freedom from addictions, preparation for deep love, getting the body they’ve always wanted, releasing long held negative attitudes, overcoming deep depression and anxiety, overcoming emotional and sexual abuse, changing careers or creating dramatic success as business owners, public speaking, as well as helping couples recover from affairs and creating a deep personal connection with God or one’s higher power. David is a renowned expert in the field of co-dependency, where he has helped thousands of people from around the world shatter the “largest addiction known to man.”

There are no topics or circumstances David has not encountered, and helped people overcome, over the past 30 years.

His mission is to inspire others to reach their own exceptional potential in their business and personal life.

Learn more about David and what he does right here http://davidessel.com/