Change Your Life – Courageous People Do These Three Steps Daily
Courage is a rarity these days. Unless we’re talking about the military, or volunteers that are going deep into the inner city slums to try to help people who have not figured out how to help themselves.
But what about the rest of us? How courageous are we all really?
For the past 28 years, number one best-selling author, counselor and life coach David Essel has been helping people to become more courageous in life. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.
Here are the three top keys that he believes we all need to follow if we want to lead a more courageous life.
“Courageous people are few and far between in the world today. People who are living with passion. Honesty. Vulnerability. There just aren’t many around anymore.
How about you? If I was sitting in front of you today would you tell me that you’re a courageous person or not?
In the past 28 years, I’ve worked with thousands of super courageous people, and from my work with these individuals, I have taken the three most important keys that they follow in order to live an extraordinary life.
Number One. Courageous people have stopped making excuses in life. They own their own foibles and walk every day into the uncomfortable.
But what does that really mean?
I was working with a client the other day in our weight-loss program that we have lead for the past 28 years. When I mentioned to her that there were going to be certain foods that she would not be able to eat and also certain foods that she had to limit her intake with. She asked me how does she stop after eating one protein bar when she normally eats three or four in a row?
My answer? That she had to be courageous. That after one protein bar she had to put the rest away. She had to look in the mirror and pull that inner courage out onto the table and use it to decrease her desire to overeat. Sound easy? It’s not. It’s simple, but not easy.
Courageous people do this every day. They choose not to drink. They choose not to smoke. They choose not to belittle people. They choose not to belittle themselves. They choose to get up early in the morning, when they would rather sleep in, to get to the gym.
After reading this how courageous are you really?
Number Two. Courageous people ask for help. I tell all my clients every day that if you could’ve achieved your huge goal with weight loss, sobriety, financial freedom, or love on your own, you would’ve done it by now. But it’s obviously not working. The fact that you reached out to me for help tells me that you’re an incredibly courageous person.
But in order to be courageous and ask for help we must be vulnerable. We must be open. We must be honest. Courageous people are vulnerable, open and honest. They ask for help. Every day. Day after day. Until they achieve the biggest goals in their life. They know they’ll never do it on their own.
Number Three. Courageous people forgive those that have hurt them, not for the person who was the aggressor, but for their own inner peace.
Over the years I’ve interviewed so many people that have forgiven the killer of a family member, or someone who cheated on them, or someone who stole money from them.
In my note new book, “focus!”, I write about how I had to forgive a woman who stole $20,000 from me. Was I being courageous in my willingness to forgive her? Hell yes! I didn’t want to, in all honesty I didn’t want to forgive her. But I eventually did, so that I could have inner peace and quit carrying around the bitterness in my heart.
Reread the above three keys. And then answer this question for yourself, how courageous am I today?
And when you’re ready, really ready to live the most courageous life of your dreams, reach out and ask someone for help. That will be the day you truly walk down the steps of courage.”
David Essel’s work is endorsed by celebrities like the late Wayne Dyer and Jenny McCarthy, who says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.”
David accepts new clients from around the world every week to work with one on one via phone or Skype, contact him at www.davidessel.com
Online Dating? Never make these mistakes!
So, you’re ready for love. Or at least you think you are… So you jump online and join one of the many dating sites to find the love of your life.
Or you’re really hip, and you join a dating app like Tinder or Bumble or something very similar in search of your prince or princess.
But wait a minute! Are you really ready to do this online dating thing?
For the past 28 years, number one best-selling author, counselor and life coach David Essel has been helping thousands of people from around the world to get ready for love. To find that lasting love relationship that’s going to rock their world.
But he has several warnings for people who are looking to fall in love online.
Below are David’s four key dating mistakes that people make when they join an online relationship site.
Number one. “Are you really sure you’re ready for love? Are you still hurting from a past relationship? Are you still jaded against men or women because of the way you were treated in the past? Have you been out of a relationship less than three months?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, if you haven’t cleared up the past emotional baggage…Do not even think about joining an online site!
Too many people are looking for love, maybe not in the wrong places, but in the wrong mindset. And until you’re able to shift your beliefs and truly are able to let go of the past damage that has happened to you, or the past damage that you’ve inflicted on others, stay off of any dating site or app until you’ve cleared up the past.
A number of years ago a woman came to me who was fresh out of a relationship, jaded as hell against men, and wanted me to help her write a smashing profile for an online dating site. Within three weeks she saw the truth. She wasn’t ready at all. Thank God she took the time to continue to do the work to release her resentments against men, and when she was clear of the past, I helped her get online and find an amazing love relationship. The same can happen to you.
Number two. So you clear up your past. You get online. You meet a few people that you like. You get into a texting relationship. Too much texting will absolutely shoot down any serious potential relationship.
Several of my female clients that are looking to get into new relationships get very frustrated with men who only want to text back-and-forth and won’t even text talk on the phone. You can sound like a rockstar via texting but once you get on the phone and someone hears the tone of your voice, even if you speak in complete sentences, it’s a different world. Many women get frustrated with men who only want to text. It’s almost like they’re hiding something and the same thing goes for women.
It’s time to grow up, get mature, and get out of the fantasy land that texting creates if you’re ready to create a deep and loving relationship.
Number three. You have too many potential people you’re trying to get to know and you get confused, or call someone the wrong name, or get overwhelmed with the volume of people you’re interacting with and start slipping and forgetting to reply to them in a professional fashion.
We recommend that you narrow it down to only one or two people at a time that you’re trying to get to know to avoid making the mistakes of letting people slip through the cracks who could be great matches for you.
And remember this. Your reputation, in the world of dating, can get highly damaged if you’re one of those people that has two, four, or 10 individuals that you’re trying to get to know who become frustrated with your lack of attention. Slowdown.
Number four. If you have a sincere interest in someone, meet them as soon as possible in person. Once again, the world of texting becomes a fantasy land where we project who we want people to think we are and vice versa. If someone lives within a 2 hour drive from you meet them within seven days if it’s hot and heavy. I recommend to my clients to meet right away.
Listen it’s worth a 2 hour drive for lunch to see if who the person is presenting themself as, is the real deal. You can tell a lot within a short lunch. If you have chemistry, if they are courteous to the servers, and many other things will be exposed that can easily be hidden via texting and or phone calls.
You’ve got to put in the physical effort before it’s too late to see if they’re a great match. Thousands of people create this fantasy relationship in their head by staying on the phone and or texting then when they actually meet someone in person they see that they’re not a match at all.
The above tips are a starting point to find a great relationship. Read them again. Take them seriously. I have helped thousands of people avoid the trap of fantasy love and I want you to do the same thing.”
If you need help in the search for the love of your life visit David’s website and take a look at his many courses regarding relationships, codependency and love to give yourself the best shot at creating that divine union to carry with you for the rest of your life. Information at www.davidessel.com
Healing Stories: Procrastination – The Number One Killer of Dreams
Many times when people are going after a major goal in life, like losing weight, making more money, saving a relationship, getting closer to God, breaking an addiction or negative attitude, we will come up with all kinds of excuses of why we haven’t accomplished his goal yet.
People will say “I don’t have the time… It’s my genetics… It’s the economy… It’s my partner… God is not listening to me…”
But, there is a similarity amongst all of the excuses and for the most part, that similarity is called procrastination. It is the number one killer of all dreams.
Number one best-selling author, counselor and life coach David Essel has been helping people for over 28 years shatter procrastination, and those who do go on to achieve huge results in life.
“I know procrastination like the back of my hand. It’s the thing that has kept me back in life even though I’m a counselor, life coach and number one best-selling author, it still is the one thing that can rear its ugly head and hold me back from going after my next goal. In the beginning, it was the number one thing that kept me from getting sober, asking for help with my finances as well as relationships.
Because of my own struggles with procrastination, I draw thousands of people to my work because they sense I may know what I’m talking about. Unfortunately, I have a lot of experience with procrastination.
But most people won’t admit they’re procrastinators. They will blame everything on everyone else around them for the reasons they’re not living the life of their dreams, instead of looking in the mirror and saying “it’s you that’s the problem!”
Here are my four top key tips in order to shatter procrastination forever:
Number one. Admit it! Look in the mirror and admit the fact that you’ve procrastinated in putting 100% effort into your goals. If you can’t do step one just bypass the rest of this article because there’s nothing that’s going to help you until you admit that you are the problem.
Number two. With the help of a professional counselor, therapist, life coach or minister… Get to the bottom of why you procrastinate.
This is crucial. Do not pass this step or once again you’re going to fall back into the trap of procrastination
You see, you can’t just use extreme willpower to shatter procrastination. You have to get to the core of why we procrastinate, understand it logically, and then will power will definitely be needed.
As an example, are you following in the footsteps of your mom or dad who were great procrastinators? Or, are you rebellion against mom and dad because they were always on time, did what they said, and you’re sort of that rebel in the family that wants to do things your own way?
Or are you following the footsteps of an older brother or sister? A best friend in high school or college? You see, most of the people who procrastinate greatly have been taught to do this. Someone they know has done it regularly, and they’re just falling into the trap of following a role model, who may have had great intentions, but procrastinated just the same.
Number three. White down the day that you will begin to shatter your procrastination, and make sure it’s not more than 30 days from today.
This is crucial! If you don’t pick a day that you’re going to quit smoking, hire a financial planner, hire a personal trainer or whatever the goal is… You will continue to put it off and off and off.
I did this for years upon years upon years. Then one day I woke up in the morning, called a treatment center and booked my 30 day stay. I did the intake forms over the phone. I made a down payment so that I couldn’t back out. I had been talking about getting sober for years but until I took this action step and invested money, nothing was changing. From that day forward? It was the greatest move I ever made. Shattering my own procrastination.
Number four. Create a reward for once you accomplish your goal. Now hold on a second! This doesn’t mean that if you lose 50 pounds you’re going to allow yourself to go to an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet!
Or if you save a certain amount of money, that you’re going to go on vacation. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot.
Your reward might be going to a weekend motivational workshop, taking a local class on photography, hiring a personal trainer because you’ve been in the gym on your own for 90 days and lost 25 pounds. Do you see where I’m going?
Procrastination kills more dreams than a lack of money and even a lack of talent. If you’re serious look in the mirror, follow the above steps and shatter procrastination forever. I know you can do it. Hell if I can, after struggling in the world of addiction for over 25 years, I know you can too. I’m on your side.”
If you need help shattering your levels of procrastination, David Essel has been helping thousands of people since 1990 to figure out a way to be successful once and forever. Email him directly at www.davidessel.com