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Dr.Joanna Osborne Masingila, Dean, School of Education, Syracuse University">David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will, motivational speaker, coaching and mentoring career counselor, confidence, how to be confident, relationship questions, best motivational speakers, career path, healthy relationships, best way to lose weight, self confidence, money advice, addict, relationships, career assessment, life advice

Healing Stories: The Path to Success is Covered in Failure

David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will, motivational speaker, coaching and mentoring career counselor, confidence, how to be confident, relationship questions, best motivational speakers, career path, healthy relationships, best way to lose weight, self confidence, money advice, addict, relationships, career assessment, life advice

David with Dr.Joanna Osborne Masingila, Dean, School of Education, Syracuse University

Healing Stories: The Path to Success is Covered in Failure

One of the greatest honors I’ve had in life was to be invited back to my alma mater Syracuse University to do the keynote address to graduating students a year ago.

From the days I was in Syracuse to today. They wanted the students to get a honest idea of what it really takes to become successful in life.

If I knew along the way how incredibly challenging my life would be I’m not sure I would have accepted the challenge. But it was worth it. Here is my story, my commencement address, to the graduating students of Syracuse University

DAVID ESSEL 2017 COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS, SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY
S.U. GRADUATE, 1979, HEALTH SELECTED STUDIES

Thank You Dr. Joanna Osborne Masingila and the School of Education…. Heather Waters and everyone here for inviting me to be a part of this really important day…

First congratulations to each of you!… The graduates of my alma mater, Syracuse University!

Probably the most important piece of information I can give you… Would be for everyone to tap in to your own inner “Lady Gaga” in the world of education… Be strong enough to be yourself, be unique, and you’ll make the biggest difference in the world in whatever career path you choose.

40 years ago in this gym… In Manley Fieldhouse I lived here… I love this place… As a member of the junior varsity basketball team… This was home.

(As a sidenote… 40 years from now you’ll be about 60 years old or so… I know at your age we don’t never think that’s going to happen… I sure didn’t… so make sure that you take full advantage of every breath for the rest of your life!)

40 years ago in this very gym with coach Roy Danforth and Jim Boeheim
Coach Danforth called me into his office… We have a spot for you on the varsity team do you want it?

Yes sir this is all I live for!

We want you to push our seniors in practice so that they’re ready for anything are you ready Essel?

Yes sir.

There’s only one catch… You’ll never get in a game

Never?

Never.

Ever?

Never.

24 hours later I return and tell coach that I can’t do it.

I ended up leaving school and going on a one and a half year search to find out what my purpose in life was.

I finally returned to Syracuse and enrolled in the School of Education and had one of the most incredible advisers ever, Dr. Carl Shantzis…
Continue reading here…

David Essel is a number one best-selling author, counselor, master life coach and inspirational speaker. If you would like help in overcoming any challenge you’re currently facing in life, simply visit www.davidessel.com

Healing Stories: From Foreclosure to Millionaire. You can do it too!

Healing Stories: From Foreclosure to Millionaire

Imagine this. You’re a single dad, two young children, and you just lost every penny to your name. You recently found out that your house will be taken away from you, and you have no idea what you’re going to do in life.

What would you do? The above scenario is the life my very good friend Ray Higdon actually lived. A number of years ago, as the real estate market crashed, Ray contacted me to see if I had any thoughts on what he should be doing to try to get out of the jam he was in.

After we met, I just looked at him and told him that I thought that he had the passion and energy to become super successful once again in life. And if he used his skills and talents, and found something he really believed in to sell, that he would find himself out of this situation never to return.

As Ray recalls in our number one best-selling book to which he was a participant in, he went home depressed, anxious.

He then went out and bought the book “The Secret” and tried to do everything they recommended for the next 30 days. Affirmations. Vision boards. And more. And after 30 days he found himself in a worse situation than he could’ve ever imagined.

He found a network marketing company that he believed in and read about a practice of going after 20 rejections a day. It didn’t sound like a lot of fun, because it’s not, but he was willing to do whatever it took for as long as it took to get out of his current financial crisis.

He never stopped calling friends, strangers, associates for the next several months. Every day he would stop only when he had 20 rejections… When 20 people told him no thank you he would stop for the day. But obviously when you’re going through that much rejection you’re going to find some people who are interested in getting on board and selling what you are selling.

Several years later, with persistent daily effort, he was earning $50,000 a month. That’s $600,000 a year for a guy that just a couple years earlier had nowhere to live and was struggling just to survive with his children.

Ray and his wife Jessica earn much more than that today. His drive has carried them forward. His willingness to risk rejection over and over and over lead to the breakthrough that now he helps other people to experience.

Many people in his situation would’ve thrown up their hands and become a victim .

How about you? Are you faced with some type of hurdle and you need an incredible healing… But you’re not willing to do the work? With your health? Money? Relationship? Career? Addiction? Spiritual path?

Regardless of what we’ve been told by many well-meaning teachers in the world of personal growth, unless it’s a miracle, the only way out of your current situation is to work your butt off. To get uncomfortable. Day after day after day.

Who is your accountability partner? If you’re truly ready to change and make it big you’re going to have to have a mentor, consultant, coach, counselor, personal trainer… Any huge goal most of us will never be able to achieve on our own. And that’s not bad. That’s just reality.

I want you to live the life that you desire. I know these healing stories can be motivational for you, me and everyone around us. But only if you’re willing to do the work, get uncomfortable, become persistent just like Ray Higdon was in order to radically change our lives.

You deserve what you desire. But… Only if you’re willing to do the work necessary to create the life you want.

Share this story with your friends. If you know someone who is struggling regardless of what area of life the struggle is happening… Share this story. And if you need help, reach out to someone who will hold you accountable to the changes that you need to make.

As I’ve said millions of times in my lectures, and in my books, I would never have gotten sober on my own… Or broken through financial problems… Or healed relationships… Or radically changed my body… Or anything else big. It’s always been because I’ve had coaches and mentors to hold me accountable on the way.

If I can help you, email me at www.davidessel.com.

David Essel is the number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and inspirational speaker whose mission is to help every individual possible, to achieve the life they deserve and desire.

Healing Stories: From Rape to Forgiveness

For the past 27 years, as a counselor and a master life coach, number one best-selling author, I’ve experienced so many incredible healing’s in my work. I’ve seen incredible transformations of people going from the caterpillar to the butterfly. It is amazing.

And nothing may be more amazing than the story of healing I’m about to share with you here.

A number of years ago a woman came to me, nine years after being brutally raped and left for dead. They never caught the rapist. So for nine straight years she lived in terror… Agoraphobic, she never left her house… She was on multiple medications for anxiety, depression, and a sleep disorder.

When she walked into the office and sat down she was a nervous wreck, as expected. Here she was sitting in front of a male counselor, the first male counselor she had ever worked with, trying to talk about an event that had traumatized her deeply nine years prior.

After working with a number of other counselors, and still not seeing the success she wanted, I was her final hope. I didn’t know that at the time but I was about to find out that this could be one of the greatest challenges I had ever faced in my years of doing the work as a counselor and coach.

I asked during the first session if any of the previous counselors had worked with her in something that we call “desensitization therapy”.

In other words had they helped her to process the experience from the beginning to the end of what happened on that terrible night in order to bring that experience down in regards to our emotional response.

With this type of work, we have to move extremely slowly. Any form of PTSD from near drowning’s, to being beaten in relationships, raped, returning from war, recovering from an auto accident, needs to be done in a very patient and slow way.

So after a few weeks I gave her the first assignment, with a loving voice, that I would like her to begin to recall the rape experience in writing. I gave her detailed instructions to try to take some of the pressure off but at the same time letting her know that I would be here with her as many days as she needed me walking through this experience together.
She would never be alone in her healing.

While she was hesitant at first she did catch on and started to write on a daily basis about the experience.

When she would come in week after week I would ask her to read what she had written and of course at first it was a terrifying experience for her. But in the safety of my office, and with an open heart, I gently nudged her and told her that in the world of desensitization, what were trying to do is take a horrific experience from the past and to write about it so many times that it simply becomes a fact of life. When we get to that level we can move forward in life never forgetting the trauma from the past but being able to now finally deal with it in a way that is respectful, releasing, and healing all at the same time.

We were together for approximately one year. Halfway through the experience she was talking about that fateful night with a tone that would be equivalent to someone talking about what they ate for dinner the night before. We had reached a huge level of success. She was absolutely shocked at the progress she had made in just a simple six months.

By the eighth month she was moving off of all of her medication, along with her doctors understanding, she was starting to take smaller and smaller dosages of her antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, and sleep pharmaceuticals. At the end of the year she was totally free of all medications! We had gone through a written process of desensitization even into an area she never thought she would reach… The forgiveness of her rapist .

When I tell this story to audiences people are absolutely shocked that individuals can move forward after an extreme PTSD experience like this into a place of health and happiness.
But the healing isn’t done by me. I am simply the facilitator, asking questions and giving assignments.

My clients must be willing to go into the discomfort… Into the pain… To release it. This brave woman did everything I asked of her and at the end of our time together she was a radically different person.

As they say on television commercials I wouldn’t recommend that anyone try to do this by themselves at home. If you have experienced an incredibly stressful or traumatic event even from 50 years ago reach out and ask for a counselor to take you through the steps necessary to reach your own level of healing.

It’s easy to make mistakes in these type of exercises so rely on someone else to take you through it.

Here are a few things to think about if you have faced trauma in your past or even in your present experience:

Number one. Millions of people before you have made the choice to do the hard work to heal. It’s not easy. I don’t want anyone to think that you can just make up your mind to forgive someone and it will happen. It really does take a full commitment.

Number two. Be patient with yourself. Let me repeat this. Be extremely patient with your own healing. To take 12 months of counseling to heal from something so traumatic is not unusual. As a matter of fact I worked with another woman a number of years ago with an extreme trauma in her past and it took us two years to reach the same level of freedom. Be patient.

You deserve the life you desire. I am so proud of the client that I’m talking about today, her persistence, perseverance, resilience, that led to her being completely free from the past. She’s a walking miracle and you can be too.

David Essel is a number one best-selling author, counselor, master life coach and inspirational speaker. If you would like help in overcoming any challenge you’re currently facing in life, simply visit www.davidessel.com