For many people being single for any length of time is a fate worse than death.
They feel “less than”. Outcasts. Miserable.
But hold on! One of the reasons our divorce rate is over 50% is because people jump too soon into relationships and marriage. Before they are truly ready.
Below are David Essel’s “Top 10 reasons why you should stay single”, until you’ve been able to work through these issues.
1) “If you can’t handle me at my worst, YOU DO NOT DESERVE ME AT MY BEST.” People who say this are basically saying, “I am a basket case in love, and I want to do whatever I desire…and your role is to just take it.” Entitlement, at it’s worst. Stay single until you remove this nonsense from your belief systems.”
2) Anger at past lover…”If you’re still angry at a past love, who cheated, or dumped you, do not date until you have resolved this. It will come out at your next lovers as distrust, resentments etc. Clean up your past first. ”
3) Out of long term relationship or marriage less than 12 months. ” Take time to heal. Take time to look at your role in the failure of the relationship before you date. ”
4) Looking for your better half? “Do not date if you are looking for your better half, or someone to complete you. Learn how to be enough, as you are.”
5) Believe men are all dogs or women are self centered. “Past negative beliefs will destroy any future love.”
6) Want to date because your tired of being alone. “This is huge! Get comfortable entertaining yourself, or the next person will surely let you down…again.”
7) Tired of raising kids by yourself. “I hear this in my counseling/coaching practice every week. When you are looking for help like this, hire a nanny.”
8) Want someone to take care of your financial stress. “99% of relationships like this end in chaos and drama, resentments on both sides.”
9) Because your friends and family say you are the greatest catch in the world. “This does not mean you are ready to date! Clear up your past first.”
10) All of your friends are in relationships. “This screams insecurity, a terrible reason to date.”
In David’s best selling book “POSITIVE THINKING WILL NEVER CHANGE YOUR LIFE…BUT THIS BOOK WILL!”, he shares stories of people he has helped create deep love.
You can get chapter one free right here…
In his top course ” Love and Relationships”, he takes people through the steps needed to clear up the past, to be ready for love.
You can get more info on the “Love & Relationships” course right here
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One of the greatest challenges that people face today, when they want to change their lives, is eradicating negative comments and beliefs from other individuals that they have accepted as true.
David Essel throughout his #1 best selling book “Positive thinking will never change your life… But this book will!”, explains that the problem isn’t that the person believes these negative comments on the conscious level… But they’ve been embedded in the subconscious level for years,so we just act out what we have heard, even though it may not necessarily be true at all.
In his book David tells the story of a young woman, whose mom had berated her for years about her lack of understanding math.
Her mother had convinced her that she was stupid. That she would never learn math. That she would never be good with money. And so with these comments now cemented in this young girls subconscious mind, she acted them out for the rest of her life.
Even though at the age of 20, without a high school education because she dropped out due to her mothers comments that she will always be stupid, she secured an entrepreneurial position and earned $150,000 in her first year alone!
Unfortunately, when she started making that kind of money her mother came back into her life telling her that she was stupid still with math, that she will blow all her money, and of course the young girl did exactly that.
Fast forward 20 years. The girls mother is still telling her she’ll never be good with money, and this young girl now turned almost middle age has manifested financial stress her entire life. Because of her fear of rocking the boat and leaving her mother once and for all, she continues to have her in her life, and her mother continues to self sabotage her daughters existence.
The answer? As David states so clearly in the book, there are times in life that we need to move away from those negative yet influential people, who have planted these negative beliefs that are not necessarily true in our brains.
It might mean that you have to totally cut off that relationship. Or it could mean that you just greatly diminish the time that you speak to those individuals. But as we all know, some of the greatest steps to success are the most difficult ones. And that’s OK.
Then let’s look at the other side. The power of someone’s positive comments. David goes on to share a personal story in his book about how he was never very good at school, and especially spelling. With an older sister who is incredibly intelligent, and who always got A’s in her classes, he never felt that he lived up to family expectations. So he became an athlete, and a damn good one. But his parents and his teachers knew that he had to do better in school if wanted a successful career outside of athletics.
In third grade David met a mentor and teacher Sister Vidette. She took him under her wings. She told him he could become a great speller, that he could raise his grades if he worked really hard. At first he didn’t believe her. But she was relentless. Meetings with his parents became a regular event. Sister told David and his parents that she saw brilliance in him.
Through incredible hard work, and a persistent teacher and parents who believed in David, he became an exceptional speller. Little did he know at that time that later on in life her comments would be the creation of a career as an author. While his athletic life ended after two years of playing basketball at Syracuse University, his excellence in spelling would lead him to become incredibly successful in life.
David’s work in the subconscious mind, has helped millions of people to move past those negative comments of family, friends, coaches and even teachers… Allowing them to shake the past once and for ever, and to plant positive beliefs where at one time there were only negative ones.
As a society, many of us are told we will never be enough. We will never be good enough. David’s work is to reverse that trend, and give adults as well as young adults the chance to reverse the negative beliefs implanted by others… So they can be free, successful and happy in life. This is possible for everyone, but a key to change is understanding that you cannot cover up a negative belief with a positive one……you actually have to do the work, day after day, to eradicate all limitations.
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