Forgiveness – Healing Stories: “Did God Let Her Down?”
Life is not fair. There are times when we wish that it was fair but in reality it’s not. Really wonderful people have terrible events that they have to go through in their life and many times we will never know the real reason why.
Through these challenges many people question if there even is a God, or if God is paying any attention. There are times that we have to look within and try to find faith that things happen for reasons. But even this philosophy can’t help us when we’re in deep and immense pain.
Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host David Essel, for the past 27 years, has helped individuals that are trying to figure out why life is treating them the way it is. And some have even asked him during sessions with him, how could God let this happen to me?
Here’s a story from David himself, that illuminates the question about whether God would actually let someone down. Or was there a bigger reason for the tragedy that we have to go through?
“A number of years ago a young woman came to me to try to work through her frustrations in life. She was 100 pounds overweight, worked in dead-end jobs, was extremely unhappy in any dating relationship she was ever in, and had reached what we call a rock bottom.
Frustrated. Disgusted with herself. And angry. But she really wasn’t sure who she was angry at?
After a few weeks of doing work together she shared with me a story that she hadn’t told many other people. The story that she shared gave me great insight as to why she was so unhappy in life. It gave great insight to why she carried so much extra weight. And why, after all these years, she continued to date men that were unhealthy.
You see, when she was in high school, she watched her younger sister get off the bus like the little girl did every day, and walk in front of the bus into their driveway and then to their house. But this day was different. Normally my client would walk ahead of her sister, but today on this one day, she got hung up talking to a friend of hers and her little sister scooted between her arms and raced out the bus door excited to be home and to see her mom.
The next thing my client sees is the little girl walking in front of the bus crossing the road and a car coming head-on hits her. She dies instantly.
For over 30 years my client held the story within. She had never worked with a counselor before. Her family discouraged her from talking about that tragic day. In 30+ years she had never visited her sisters grave. She had never thought about how much she missed her sister because it was too painful to think about.
So instead she self medicated with food. Or occasional sex with a guy she knew wasn’t good for her. To beat herself up for the choice she made of not to be the one to walk off the bus first, as she did every other day, she hung onto menial jobs, doing limited work, just trying to survive in life.
When she told me the story I was flabbergasted over many of the details. That her family never wanted to talk about missing the young girl? That my client had never thought about processing through her grief, shame, guilt and anger?
As I asked her about all of these emotions she blurted out how much she hated God! How God had let her down, by allowing a drunk driver to kill her innocent little sister. She was mad as hell at God. At herself. And her family for refusing to talk about the precious life that was no longer on earth.
Can you imagine how difficult it would be holding all these emotions in? Shame? Guilt? Resentment, anger, rage?
As we worked together, each one of these emotions were giving plenty of time to be processed. Every week for over a year we continued working through the emotions, forgiving herself, even reaching the state of forgiving God. She realized, God did not direct the driver to kill her sister, even though at times she felt he did. We worked on her forgiving her family, because they didn’t know how to deal with their own anger, rage, and guilt. She was able to forgive them for the space they were currently in.
Eventually, she got to the greatest prize at all, she forgave herself. And on the very day that we had this massive breakthrough, for the first time in over 30 years, she went to her a little sister’s grave and left a letter for her.
The next month, she went and left another letter with flowers. Some evenings she would sit in her bathtub with candles lit all around a pad of paper and pen in hand, yes even in the bathtub, and write love letters to her sister. How much she missed her. How sorry she was for what happened. She even asked her sister to forgive her for not being the first one off the bus.
It was an immense amount of work! At the end of two years her work was done. Should evolved so deeply, so greatly into a loving, compassionate person. Once she released all of her own shame and guilt she was able to communicate with her sister on a daily basis. She prayed to her. She prayed for her sister. And she ended up creating this incredibly joyful relationship with a little girl who is no longer here on earth.
The end of the story is beautiful. The end of the story was actually surprising to me because this client put so much effort and work into trying to heal and it never seemed to be coming fast enough. In the end, the timing was perfect.
How about you? Are there feelings or emotions that you’re running from? Not wanting to face? Could there be shame or guilt that still resides within you? Or deep resentment or anger at God, your family, a former lover, a former employer, a former best friend?
This article highlights the power of writing. Every day for two years, my client wrote about her emotions. Every week for two straight years we met for an hour, over the phone, to help her process the emotions. It was hard, hard work. And the end result as I mentioned above was stunningly beautiful.
I wish the same could happen to you. If you’re willing to do the work we can release all submerged emotions and rise from the ashes to become the person we’ve always meant to be.
Don’t wait another day to get help. Reach out to a counselor, coach, minister, priest, a rabbi… Anyone in the healing profession can help you. Make today the day you reach out and ask for that help. You deserve it. ”
Learn more about David and his one on one coaching and counseling here… http://davidessel.com/life-relationship-business-coach/
If you would like to reach David to help you with any current crisis that you’re going through, please email him through the website www.davidessel.com
Healing Stories: A 240 Pound Weight Loss?
Imagine this. You’re 240 pounds overweight… and suffering. Mentally. Physically. And maybe even spiritually.
You know you have to do something about your situation but where do you begin? Go to the gym? Are you kidding me? Looking like this?
You know the long-term consequences are terrible. Every disease known to man increases for the person carrying this much weight.
And then the day comes that you face your greatest fears. In a wheelchair you’re pushed into a gym. Will the transformation begin today? Can you really do this?
Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host, David Essel, has had the opportunity to interview thousands of people over the past 27 years… And one of the most impactful and empowering individuals David has ever interviewed is Evelyn Keiling
Evelyn is a warrior. A spiritual warrior. A physical warrior. A mental warrior. And an inspiration for millions of people around the world.
David loves Evelyn and the story she brings. Her perseverance. Her persistence.
And what about you? Whatever our mountain is to carry, whatever our goal is to achieve, are we willing to be like Evelyn Keiling and do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to make it happen?
Here it is in David’s words.
“I was introduced to Evelyn a number of years ago when I heard her story about losing 240 pounds! That’s two people she lost! I had to have her on my national radio show. And the interview was more powerful than I could ever believe.
She began by answering the question “do you think you’re weight gain is based on genetics?” She laughed and said no. My weight gain was based on me. As it is for most people who are overweight, genetics plays a very tiny part of the percentage of people who are overweight and or obese.
Evelyn made up her mind one day that she was going to change. And she did the hard work. Radically changing her diet, going on a nutritional cleanse, and beginning her exercise program. Not once during the interview did she ever say that the beginning years were easy. But she did say it was worth it.
While she was doing her nutritional cleanse she found out what it meant to eat a clean healthy diet. Lean protein. Vegetables. Fruit. Complex carbohydrates. She researched everything imaginable in the world and began going into the gym. Can you imagine walking into the gym 240 pounds overweight? Or let me correct myself, being wheeled in a wheelchair into the gym 240 pounds overweight?
This is why I call my friend Evelyn Keiling a major warrior. Nothing would get in her way to accomplish the goals that she had in mind. Here’s some more fascinating statistics about Evelyn. She did this in her late 40s early 50s. Not only that, she went a step further and in her 50s became a bodybuilder!
And along the way here’s an important part of Evelyn story. She didn’t do it alone. She had a support team. She hired individuals to motivate her, inspire her, and teach her the new way of living that she had to adapt and adopt immediately if she wanted to live.
And the story gets better. What? The story can get better? Hell yes. She ends up walking on stage in a body transformation competition in Las Vegas in front of 15,000 screaming fans. Everything came to this point and the reward was amazing.
But wait! The story doesn’t stop here! What she learned in her body transformation was going to be needed last year when she was diagnosed with cancer. She used the same warrior mentality to face head on a disease that is brutal. And she’s winning.
I love Evelyn Keiling because of what she represents to all of us. She is our hope. She is a role model. I want you to take your goals as serious as Evelyn does, for you to walk away at the top of the mountain.”
In his 27 years as a counselor and a life coach, David Essel has been involved with many people like Evelyn Keiling. Individuals who at first didn’t think their massive goal of recovery, or weight loss, or saving a marriage after an affair, or tripling their income, or becoming an entrepreneur later in life could ever be achieved. But he’s walked hand-in-hand with all these people up the mountain to massive success.
You can do this too, even if you don’t believe it today. But you’ll need a counselor, coach, personal trainer, minister, financial expert… You’ll need a team around you in order to achieve massive goals. You’ll need to invest more time, effort and money… And it will be so worth it!
Never give up on yourself. Go now. http://davidessel.com/weight-loss/
To contact David so that he can help you achieve any goal in life simply visit his website www.davidessel.com
David’s work is endorsed by individuals like celebrity Jenny McCarthy, Deepak Chopra, the late Wayne Dyer, Mark Victor Hansen and more.
Healing Stories: Forgiveness…Her Six-Year-Old Son Was Murdered. Then she did this.
No one can imagine what it would feel like to find out that their six-year-old child had been murdered. And, it is something we would not wish on anyone.
The feelings of rage, sadness, anger and possibly even guilt would be running through anyone’s brain in their attempt to deal with such a tragedy.
Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host David Essel has interviewed parents from around the United States of America who have lost a child. And in each of the interviews it’s an incredibly tragic event that some never find their way to totally deal with.
Addiction can take over as a short-term way to submerge the emotions around losing a child. Some hold onto bitterness for the rest of their lives. And then there are others who lead the way to help us transform this terrible experience into something that has meaning in their lives.
David shares a story here today that gives all individuals, who have lost a loved one, an opportunity to learn how to move forward with grace, power and compassion.
“I remember the first time I talked to Scarlett Lewis who had lost her son just a few months before in the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. I had no idea how to even begin the interview I was about to do with Scarlett on my national radio show.
I mean, how do you start out such an in-depth interview with someone who eight months before had lost her young son to a murderer? I was so concerned that I would say the wrong thing. That I would embarrass myself or her. Or that I would put her on the hot seat, something I never intend to do with any of my guests.
I sat and wondered… And then when I looked up I saw that I was going to be on the air in 30 seconds. After introducing Scarlett I immediately asked her a question that I thought I would probably get to later on in the show. “Have you even thought about forgiving the killer of your child? Is that something you could even ever do?”
That question was guided to me by spirit if you will. It wasn’t something I had planned. But the interview started out with a bang. And it was one of the most incredible interviews I’ve ever done in 27 years as a host of a talk radio show.
Scarlett answered right away that she was about 75% of the way to forgiving Adam Lanza completely. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. How could she already, only eight months after the killing of her son, be that far advanced in regards to forgiving the killer?
Scarlett shared with me that it was an incredibly difficult eight months to say the least. But she learned early on through her counseling, and a variety of modalities from journaling, to emotional freedom technique, to a healing technique called EMDR, that if she didn’t go in and feel those deep feelings of anger, sadness, depression, and everything else associated with such an event, that she would never heal.
So she got to work. Whenever she woke up in the morning and felt that pain in her stomach she would start to journal her feelings and emotions surrounding anger, rage and more.
She never stopped doing the work. She didn’t shy away when the counseling or the program she was in became difficult. She kept moving forward. Even on the days she didn’t want to.
I have had the blessing to interview Scarlett every year since the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, and every year she astounds me even more. The last time I had invited her to be a part of a major motivational seminar I was leading, she joined me and the audience via phone, and shared at that time that she was over 90% on her way to fully forgiving the killer of her child.
During the seminar, when someone asked what was her motivation to continue to work so hard to forgive someone who killed her son, Scarlet answered immediately, “He may have killed my young son Jesse but through my path of forgiveness I am guaranteeing that he will not take the rest of my life or my other son JT’s in the process. As I have continued to forgive him I’ve become free and able to do the work that I’m here to do.”
And what is that work that Scarlett Lewis is destined to do? She is a major leader in the world of forgiveness. She is a healer. She is taking this tragic event and now travels all over the world talking to small and large audiences alike about the path of forgiveness. The benefits of forgiveness. The trials and tribulations of forgiveness. The hardships of forgiveness. But at the end of everything, she knows that the path has been laid out before her to be a leader in this world. And she’s doing a damn good job doing so.”
If you need help living the life you desire, letting go of past hurts or tragedies, contact David today at www.davidessel.com