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Healing Stories: False. You Have to Really Be Ready to Change to Change Your Life.

False. You Have to Really Be Ready to Change to Change Your Life.

How many times have you heard people say “well I guess she just wasn’t ready to quit drinking. I guess he just really wasn’t ready to lose weight.”

Has it been 1,000,000 times? 100,000,000 times?

These statements that people have to be really ready to make major changes in their life have been passed down for generations. But are they really true?

For 28 years, number one best-selling author, life coach and counselor David Essel has been helping to debunk the myth’s in the world of personal growth. His client base runs from the United States, to Europe, to Australia, South America, Mexico and beyond.

And many times, his clients will begin their conversations with statements like they’re not really sure if they’re ready to change.
David believes that the concept “someone has to be really ready to change in order to make big changes in their lives” is 100 percent false. Fallacy. Ridiculous. Here are David’s thoughts on this incredibly important topic.

“If we waited until we were absolutely ready to change in order to stop drinking, lose weight, make more money, forgive a former lover, apply for a job when we don’t have any experience in that field… No one, and I mean no one would ever change. It irritates me to no end when I hear individuals in my own profession telling people that they should not come down on themselves and that they shouldn’t feel guilty about not being able to make a major change because all it means is they weren’t ready to do it… Yet.

Bullshit. Ridiculous. As I mentioned above I have rarely met anyone who is truly ready to make major, scary changes in life.

And, if you let yourself off the hook, and look back at your attempts to lose weight, save money, get sober because you tell yourself and others that you weren’t ready to change, you’ll never change. No one is ever ready to make major changes in life. Let me repeat this, no one, and I mean no one is ever really ready to make changes that will make their lives uncomfortable at least in the beginning.

Well wait a minute. Before I go on, there is one person I know who is always ready to change. My mentor Joe Cirulli, who went from homeless to multi millionaire. OK so I was wrong, there is one person who is always ready to attack huge goals and change. But besides Joe? I don’t know too many.

The statement that people were just not ready to change is one of the biggest excuses in the world to not changing. When people say “I may not be ready to change” they already have a foot out the door and they’re ready to quit before they even start.

Quit being so lame. Don’t be a sissy. Yes, it’s going to be super scary to get sober. Yes it’s going to be scary to give up sugar and go into the gym six or seven days a week. Yes, it’s going to be scary to date someone with a different color of skin. But so what. If you want to play it safe life is going to be pretty damn boring.

A woman the other day contacted me about joining our weight-loss program which is initially 10 weeks long. Within five minutes of her and I talking she started to discuss the concept with me that maybe this wasn’t the right time for her to commit to 10 straight weeks. “Well you know the kids are going to be home for a one week vacation in 30 days and that could screw everything up. And then after that, two months later, I’m going to be going on a weekend trip with some girlfriends. Maybe I’m just not ready to commit to this right now.”

The excuses had already begun about her not being ready to change before she even entered the course. Thank God, that she had the common sense to realize that you don’t have to be ready to change you just have to do the work.

So here are the facts about change. You don’t have to be ready, you just have to do the work. Let me repeat that. You never have to be ready to get sober, lose weight, forgive someone that you’d rather not forgive, you just have to do the damn work. Starting right now.

In all of my one on one work as a counselor and life coach I tell people that as long as they have a 10 percent desire to change they will be successful. With a 10 percent desire to change that means they’re going to show up for the sessions on the phone or Skype and once they show up I will help to inspire them and hold them accountable to change. I want you to write this down right now. “As long as I have a 10 percent desire to change I can accomplish any goal I’m willing to go after.”

That’s all you need to know. With that 10 percent desire to change get into the gym. Get professional help for your path to sobriety. Get professional help to understand how you can forgive someone who has betrayed you in the past.

One of my clients Harold knew that he had to get sober but he was a bartender for God sake and he told me one day he thought he would be ready to get sober once he quit bartending.

I looked at him, gave a big smile and said “if you have a 10 percent desire my friend we can rock together.”

He started that day. Ten weeks later he was sober. That was 15 years ago. He was a bartender then and he still is a bartender and he’s 100 percent sober.

Walk away from all the well-meaning friends and professionals who tell you you must be ready to change before you change. The human brain is a very interesting phenomena. The subconscious mind would rather have you stay an alcoholic, stay overweight, or stay financially challenged than to get uncomfortable.

But is long as you have a 10 percent desire to change, walk into the uncomfortable. Get a professional to hold your feet to the fire. 30 days from now, 90 days from now, 365 days from now you will be thanking me for writing this article.

So in advance let me just tell you this: you’re welcome. Thank You for doing the work.”

David Essel’s work as a counselor and a life coach is verified by psychology today and he is recognized as a verified relationship expert by marriage.com.

David accepts new clients every week from around the world, where he helps them shatter the myths about success via his sessions on phone and or Skype. Email us at the website below, let us know where you read this article, and David will offer you a free 15 minute phone counseling session to help you get moving in the right direction in life at www.davidessel.com