Posts

David Essel, marriage, relationship, abusive relationship, happy marriage, healthy relationships, how to save a relationship, David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life…

Healing Stories: Relationships – Men Are All Dogs!

Healing Stories: Men Are All Dogs!

Relationships are either Hell on earth, or Heaven on earth. And depending upon your past experiences it’s very easy to fall victim to the belief that relationships should either be easy, effortless and rewarding or for the most part that all relationships simply suck.

What was the relationship of your mom and dad growing up? Or if you were raised in a single household, what did your mom teach you, or tell you about relationships? What did your dad teach you or tell you about relationships? Were they optimistic? Or negative?

Many of our beliefs come from childhood. What we saw in our own household, can implant a belief system in the subconscious mind about the positive or negative side of relationships.

For the past 27 years, number one best-selling author, counselor and life coach David Essel has been helping both men and women get really clear about how to create healthy relationships. He also specializes in helping people to even begin to understand if this time in their life is the right time to be engaged in any form of romantic love.

Unfortunately, many people are seeking love in this current day and time, when they aren’t mentally prepared to give love in return. Confused? Let’s have David share his own story of a client he worked with a number of years ago to make all of this perfectly clear.

Men Are All Dogs!

” In the mid 90s I got a phone call from a woman who lived on the west coast of the United States who had been a frequent listener to my radio show. She had heard me talk about creating deep love and was skeptical but hopeful at the same time that she might be able to do exactly that. She hired me to be her counselor and about 30 minutes into the first session I asked her about her belief systems regarding men. Were they trustworthy in her mind? Were they honest in her opinion? Within about 1.5 seconds she blurted out a line I’ll never forget.

“Men are all dogs David!”

The force that she used when she said those words were incredible. I had to let it sink in. And after I thought for a second I asked her why she felt so angry at men. Her forceful reply was filled with anger maybe even to the point of rage.

She went on to tell me that every man she ever dated had cheated on her. If not immediately within the first year of the relationship. She said it was simple, men are programmed to cheat, and lie, so finding someone to have a true partnership with would nearly be impossible in her life.

As we continued to work together over the weeks and months I started to throw little bones out there about how our beliefs sometimes create our reality. During one session she asked me to clarify what I had said. When I asked her what she thought I meant by that statement she said “don’t tell me to start thinking that if I change my beliefs I could attract great guys because there’s no such thing.”

I told her there was no rush.  That over time in doing all of the exercises in writing I was giving her that her beliefs would normally start to change. She doubted me. Which I totally understood.

We started then working on who she hung around without a weekly basis and more and more clues were coming to the surface. Every Friday night her and her best girlfriends would go to a few different local bars, hang together in a little clique, and look around at all “The men who were really dogs” in the bar.

A look at the ring finger where there might of been a white space, proving that this man was married but he was a dog out looking for sex.

They even had it down to what they believed was their own little perfect science. Together as a group they would rate men on their “doggedness” by the clothes they wore, the jewelry they wore, and even their haircut.

As she continued to share all this information with me I knew there was going to have to be some radical changes in her mind and her actions in order to get her to see that not all men were dogs.

So I challenged her. I asked her that instead of going out with the girls for drinks to judge men, to do something radically different for the next four Fridays. She was shocked. She kept telling me that this is what they do for fun. And I was able to show her that in her “fun night with the girls” she was actually embedding in her mind proof that men are all dogs.

At the end of four weeks of ceasing to go out with these girls her mind was starting to change.

At the same time I was having her do some written exercises to release her resentments against men. As well as resentments against her father, who was not faithful during the marriage to her mom. I was able to help her see where the beliefs that men are all dogs came from, and just maybe, why she was carrying that now into her late 30s in life.

It took about six months of working with her for all of this to change. And when it did she was an absolutely totally changed person!

And of course you know what’s going to happen next. As she changed her beliefs and her actions about men, she started to run into guys that were not dogs at all. That were trustworthy. That were nice. That were gentleman.

Another three months went by and then the miracle happened . She fell in love with a super great guy! She couldn’t wait to call me for a session and tell me all about this new love and through the work that she had done with me, by releasing her poor belief systems about men, she had actually attracted a really great guy.

During our very last session I remember her words. “David, I have a great job, my own house, a new car and now an amazing new man in my life. Thank you for opening my eyes about the power of belief systems and how I have been living underneath a rock for all these years.”

The change took time as you can see. And it was more than just trying to change her thoughts She had to change her actions too and eventually even change her friends. Was it worth it? Hell yes. And the same can happen to you.”

If you struggle with relationships, as David stated above, the best thing in the world to do is to start to evaluate where your beliefs came from, and how you might be ingraining these beliefs on a deeper level through your thoughts and actions as well.

Contact David for for one-on-one help with all your relationship goals… http://davidessel.com/life-relationship-business-coach/

If David can help you with changing any part of your life, feel free to contact him at www.davidessel.com

Healing Stories: Forgiveness “Did God Let Her Down?”

Forgiveness – Healing Stories: “Did God Let Her Down?”

Life is not fair. There are times when we wish that it was fair but in reality it’s not. Really wonderful people have terrible events that they have to go through in their life and many times we will never know the real reason why.

Through these challenges many people question if there even is a God, or if God is paying any attention. There are times that we have to look within and try to find faith that things happen for reasons. But even this philosophy can’t help us when we’re in deep and immense pain.

Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host David Essel, for the past 27 years, has helped individuals that are trying to figure out why life is treating them the way it is. And some have even asked him during sessions with him, how could God let this happen to me?

Here’s a story from David himself, that illuminates the question about whether God would actually let someone down. Or was there a bigger reason for the tragedy that we have to go through?

“A number of years ago a young woman came to me to try to work through her frustrations in life. She was 100 pounds overweight, worked in dead-end jobs, was extremely unhappy in any dating relationship she was ever in, and had reached what we call a rock bottom.

Frustrated. Disgusted with herself. And angry. But she really wasn’t sure who she was angry at?

After a few weeks of doing work together she shared with me a story that she hadn’t told many other people. The story that she shared gave me great insight as to why she was so unhappy in life. It gave great insight to why she carried so much extra weight. And why, after all these years, she continued to date men that were unhealthy.

You see, when she was in high school, she watched her younger sister get off the bus like the little girl did every day, and walk in front of the bus into their driveway and then to their house. But this day was different. Normally my client would walk ahead of her sister, but today on this one day, she got hung up talking to a friend of hers and her little sister scooted between her arms and raced out the bus door excited to be home and to see her mom.

The next thing my client sees is the little girl walking in front of the bus crossing the road and a car coming head-on hits her. She dies instantly.

For over 30 years my client held the story within. She had never worked with a counselor before. Her family discouraged her from talking about that tragic day. In 30+ years she had never visited her sisters grave. She had never thought about how much she missed her sister because it was too painful to think about.

So instead she self medicated with food. Or occasional sex with a guy she knew wasn’t good for her. To beat herself up for the choice she made of not to be the one to walk off the bus first, as she did every other day, she hung onto menial jobs, doing limited work, just trying to survive in life.

When she told me the story I was flabbergasted over many of the details. That her family never wanted to talk about missing the young girl? That my client had never thought about processing through her grief, shame, guilt and anger?

As I asked her about all of these emotions she blurted out how much she hated God! How God had let her down, by allowing a drunk driver to kill her innocent little sister. She was mad as hell at God. At herself. And her family for refusing to talk about the precious life that was no longer on earth.

Can you imagine how difficult it would be holding all these emotions in? Shame? Guilt? Resentment, anger, rage?

As we worked together, each one of these emotions were giving plenty of time to be processed. Every week for over a year we continued working through the emotions, forgiving herself, even reaching the state of forgiving God. She realized, God did not direct the driver to kill her sister, even though at times she felt he did. We worked on her forgiving her family, because they didn’t know how to deal with their own anger, rage, and guilt. She was able to forgive them for the space they were currently in.

Eventually, she got to the greatest prize at all, she forgave herself. And on the very day that we had this massive breakthrough, for the first time in over 30 years, she went to her a little sister’s grave and left a letter for her.

The next month, she went and left another letter with flowers. Some evenings she would sit in her bathtub with candles lit all around a pad of paper and pen in hand, yes even in the bathtub, and write love letters to her sister. How much she missed her. How sorry she was for what happened. She even asked her sister to forgive her for not being the first one off the bus.

It was an immense amount of work! At the end of two years her work was done. Should evolved so deeply, so greatly into a loving, compassionate person. Once she released all of her own shame and guilt she was able to communicate with her sister on a daily basis. She prayed to her. She prayed for her sister. And she ended up creating this incredibly joyful relationship with a little girl who is no longer here on earth.

The end of the story is beautiful. The end of the story was actually surprising to me because this client put so much effort and work into trying to heal and it never seemed to be coming fast enough. In the end, the timing was perfect.

How about you? Are there feelings or emotions that you’re running from? Not wanting to face? Could there be shame or guilt that still resides within you? Or deep resentment or anger at God, your family, a former lover, a former employer, a former best friend?

This article highlights the power of writing. Every day for two years, my client wrote about her emotions. Every week for two straight years we met for an hour, over the phone, to help her process the emotions. It was hard, hard work. And the end result as I mentioned above was stunningly beautiful.

I wish the same could happen to you. If you’re willing to do the work we can release all submerged emotions and rise from the ashes to become the person we’ve always meant to be.

Don’t wait another day to get help. Reach out to a counselor, coach, minister, priest, a rabbi… Anyone in the healing profession can help you. Make today the day you reach out and ask for that help. You deserve it. ”

Learn more about David and his one on one coaching and counseling here… http://davidessel.com/life-relationship-business-coach/

If you would like to reach David to help you with any current crisis that you’re going through, please email him through the website www.davidessel.com

Healing Stories: A 240 Pound Weight Loss?

David Essel, how to lose weight, best way to lose weight, healthy diet, weight loss plans, best way to lose weight fast, ways to lose weight, dieting

Healing Stories: A 240 Pound Weight Loss?

Imagine this. You’re 240 pounds overweight… and suffering. Mentally. Physically. And maybe even spiritually.

You know you have to do something about your situation but where do you begin? Go to the gym? Are you kidding me? Looking like this?

You know the long-term consequences are terrible. Every disease known to man increases for the person carrying this much weight.

And then the day comes that you face your greatest fears. In a wheelchair you’re pushed into a gym. Will the transformation begin today? Can you really do this?

Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host, David Essel, has had the opportunity to interview thousands of people over the past 27 years… And one of the most impactful and empowering individuals David has ever interviewed is Evelyn Keiling

Evelyn is a warrior. A spiritual warrior. A physical warrior. A mental warrior. And an inspiration for millions of people around the world.

David loves Evelyn and the story she brings. Her perseverance. Her persistence.

And what about you? Whatever our mountain is to carry, whatever our goal is to achieve, are we willing to be like Evelyn Keiling and do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to make it happen?

Here it is in David’s words.

“I was introduced to Evelyn a number of years ago when I heard her story about losing 240 pounds! That’s two people she lost! I had to have her on my national radio show. And the interview was more powerful than I could ever believe.

She began by answering the question “do you think you’re weight gain is based on genetics?” She laughed and said no. My weight gain was based on me. As it is for most people who are overweight, genetics plays a very tiny part of the percentage of people who are overweight and or obese.

Evelyn made up her mind one day that she was going to change. And she did the hard work. Radically changing her diet, going on a nutritional cleanse, and beginning her exercise program. Not once during the interview did she ever say that the beginning years were easy. But she did say it was worth it.

While she was doing her nutritional cleanse she found out what it meant to eat a clean healthy diet. Lean protein. Vegetables. Fruit. Complex carbohydrates. She researched everything imaginable in the world and began going into the gym. Can you imagine walking into the gym 240 pounds overweight? Or let me correct myself, being wheeled in a wheelchair into the gym 240 pounds overweight?

This is why I call my friend Evelyn Keiling a major warrior. Nothing would get in her way to accomplish the goals that she had in mind. Here’s some more fascinating statistics about Evelyn. She did this in her late 40s early 50s. Not only that, she went a step further and in her 50s became a bodybuilder!

And along the way here’s an important part of Evelyn story. She didn’t do it alone. She had a support team. She hired individuals to motivate her, inspire her, and teach her the new way of living that she had to adapt and adopt immediately if she wanted to live.

And the story gets better. What?  The story can get better? Hell yes. She ends up walking on stage in a body transformation competition in Las Vegas in front of 15,000 screaming fans. Everything came to this point and the reward was amazing.

But wait! The story doesn’t stop here! What she learned in her body transformation was going to be needed last year when she was diagnosed with cancer. She used the same warrior mentality to face head on a disease that is brutal. And she’s winning.

I love Evelyn Keiling because of what she represents to all of us. She is our hope. She is a role model. I want you to take your goals as serious as Evelyn does, for you to walk away at the top of the mountain.”

In his 27 years as a counselor and a life coach, David Essel has been involved with many people like Evelyn Keiling. Individuals who at first didn’t think their massive goal of recovery, or weight loss, or saving a marriage after an affair, or tripling their income, or becoming an entrepreneur later in life could ever be achieved. But he’s walked hand-in-hand with all these people up the mountain to massive success.

You can do this too, even if you don’t believe it today. But you’ll need a counselor, coach, personal trainer, minister, financial expert… You’ll need a team around you in order to achieve massive goals. You’ll need to invest more time, effort and money… And it will be so worth it!

Never give up on yourself. Go now. http://davidessel.com/weight-loss/

To contact David so that he can help you achieve any goal in life simply visit his website www.davidessel.com

David’s work is endorsed by individuals like celebrity Jenny McCarthy, Deepak Chopra, the late Wayne Dyer, Mark Victor Hansen and more.

Healing Stories: Her Six-Year-Old Son Was Murdered. Then she did this.

Healing Stories: Forgiveness…Her Six-Year-Old Son Was Murdered. Then she did this.

No one can imagine what it would feel like to find out that their six-year-old child had been murdered. And, it is something we would not wish on anyone.

The feelings of rage, sadness, anger and possibly even guilt would be running through anyone’s brain in their attempt to deal with such a tragedy.

Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host David Essel has interviewed parents from around the United States of America who have lost a child. And in each of the interviews it’s an incredibly tragic event that some never find their way to totally deal with.

Addiction can take over as a short-term way to submerge the emotions around losing a child. Some hold onto bitterness for the rest of their lives. And then there are others who lead the way to help us transform this terrible experience into something that has meaning in their lives.

David shares a story here today that gives all individuals, who have lost a loved one, an opportunity to learn how to move forward with grace, power and compassion.

“I remember the first time I talked to Scarlett Lewis who had lost her son just a few months before in the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. I had no idea how to even begin the interview I was about to do with Scarlett on my national radio show.

I mean, how do you start out such an in-depth interview with someone who eight months before had lost her young son to a murderer? I was so concerned that I would say the wrong thing. That I would embarrass myself or her. Or that I would put her on the hot seat, something I never intend to do with any of my guests.

I sat and wondered… And then when I looked up I saw that I was going to be on the air in 30 seconds. After introducing Scarlett I immediately asked her a question that I thought I would probably get to later on in the show. “Have you even thought about forgiving the killer of your child? Is that something you could even ever do?”

That question was guided to me by spirit if you will. It wasn’t something I had planned. But the interview started out with a bang. And it was one of the most incredible interviews I’ve ever done in 27 years as a host of a talk radio show.

Scarlett answered right away that she was about 75% of the way to forgiving Adam Lanza completely. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. How could she already, only eight months after the killing of her son, be that far advanced in regards to forgiving the killer?

Scarlett shared with me that it was an incredibly difficult eight months to say the least. But she learned early on through her counseling, and a variety of modalities from journaling, to emotional freedom technique, to a healing technique called EMDR, that if she didn’t go in and feel those deep feelings of anger, sadness, depression, and everything else associated with such an event, that she would never heal.

So she got to work. Whenever she woke up in the morning and felt that pain in her stomach she would start to journal her feelings and emotions surrounding anger, rage and more.

She never stopped doing the work. She didn’t shy away when the counseling or the program she was in became difficult. She kept moving forward. Even on the days she didn’t want to.

I have had the blessing to interview Scarlett every year since the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, and every year she astounds me even more. The last time I had invited her to be a part of a major motivational seminar I was leading, she joined me and the audience via phone, and shared at that time that she was over 90% on her way to fully forgiving the killer of her child.

During the seminar, when someone asked what was her motivation to continue to work so hard to forgive someone who killed her son, Scarlet answered immediately, “He may have killed my young son Jesse but through my path of forgiveness I am guaranteeing that he will not take the rest of my life or my other son JT’s in the process. As I have continued to forgive him I’ve become free and able to do the work that I’m here to do.”

And what is that work that Scarlett Lewis is destined to do? She is a major leader in the world of forgiveness. She is a healer. She is taking this tragic event and now travels all over the world talking to small and large audiences alike about the path of forgiveness. The benefits of forgiveness. The trials and tribulations of forgiveness. The hardships of forgiveness. But at the end of everything, she knows that the path has been laid out before her to be a leader in this world. And she’s doing a damn good job doing so.”

If you need help living the life you desire, letting go of past hurts or tragedies, contact David today at www.davidessel.com

Healing Stories: From Alcoholism to Full Sobriety

Healing Stories: Is Sobriety for Everyone?

Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. Statements like these are a 100% fabrication of the truth.

For the past 24 years, counselor, life coach and number one best-selling author David Essel has seen hundreds of individuals, who were told that they would never get sober for life, accomplish exactly that goal. And you can too .

One of his most powerful stories that he tells at lectures is the recovery of a client named Harvey. Harvey came to David on his knees, rock bottom for the one hundredth time.

He had been told by various professionals that it really wasn’t his fault that he was an alcoholic. He had the genetic link which meant he was doomed for life. They tried to tell him that there were various medications he could take to help cut his cravings but that at the level he had been drinking for as long as he had been drinking the opportunity for sobriety was almost nil.

There are even professional organizations, who’s intention it is to help people get sober, that will pass the same absolute lies that the professionals told Harvey… In meetings they would tell him that once you’re an alcoholic you always are. That even if he got sober the cravings will probably never go away.

He came in to David’s office with a small hope that maybe his life could be better. He had lost several marriages due to his drinking. He would drink on the job and then come home and finish a complete bottle of vodka almost every night.

He was asleep by nine and up at six to put another hard day of work in. Throughout the day be thinking about the relief he would feel once he was back home and able to “relax and drink myself to sleep”.

He surrounded himself with friends that drank almost as much as he did. As we looked back at his family history, which was filled with alcoholics, he believed the naysayers who had told him that he would be an alcoholic for life. Until he met David.

“I remember the first day Harvey came in. He was dejected yes. He had lost almost all hope. But he was willing to commit 90 straight days to work in our program with holistic addiction recovery. When he went to leave the first day he turned and said to me that I had not mentioned anything about drinking. Was it OK if he drink that night? I turned and looked and said what do you think is the best move for you? He started laughing as he left the room yelling behind him that he shouldn’t be paying for a program of recovery and then go home and drink. I thought now there’s a wise man.”

The first few weeks were not easy. His cravings were intense. David put him on a series of amino acid supplementation to help with the cravings. He introduced Harvey to the world of relaxation techniques, CDs on meditation, emotional journaling techniques for him to access the feelings of fear that arise when someone is not going to have their best friend, alcohol, with them throughout the day.

Harvey reported to David every day of the week. He shared with David and  his feelings, boredom, restlessness, anxiety, depression and anger that he couldn’t have just one or two drinks to relax.

David had asked him to do a brief past history of how many times he had tried to drink moderately… Only to fall back into the black pit of alcoholism.

In his own writing for the first time in 30 years, Harvey had sketched out the 1000 times that he had tried to be a moderate drinker that had never worked .

At the end of the third month he was a fully changed man, someone even he didn’t recognize. He was falling asleep without a drink. He was waking up at 4 AM to take walks around the neighborhood with his dog. He was energized. He was more social. He was excited about living a brand-new life.

Two of his former wives actually got back in touch with him when they found out he had stopped drinking, to support him in his sobriety . He found, and quite the surprise to himself, that there were a lot of people even in his neighborhood who were sober. Some had never drank at all, who were an absolute blast to be around.

At work he was instantly recognized for his new level of energy and commitment. He received a promotion without even asking for it.

When he came back in to see David after being on his own for about six months, even David said he barely recognized him. The puffiness in his face, the dark circles underneath his eyes, his poor body language had all radically changed .

Harvey’s attitude has improved dramatically, simply by removing alcohol from his life.

For the past 30+ years he had not gone a day without drinking… And here he was 180 days later without a drop of alcohol and finding a new breath of life.

“Harvey has found to be true what so many people struggle with. A sober life can be dynamic, filled with passion, joy and fun. And you do not have to believe the nonsense that the struggle will continue for the rest of your life. When you apply yourself to a full, deep level of holistic addiction recovery, the struggle ends. Inner peace remains. And a new lift on life is evident.” Essel says.

If you need help, reach out to David today at http://davidessel.com/holistic-addiction-recovery/

 

Keynote speaker David Essel with Dr .Joanna Osborne Masingila, Dean, School of Education, Syracuse University

Healing Stories: The Path to Success is Covered in Failure

David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will, motivational speaker, coaching and mentoring career counselor, confidence, how to be confident, relationship questions, best motivational speakers, career path, healthy relationships, best way to lose weight, self confidence, money advice, addict, relationships, career assessment, life advice

David with Dr.Joanna Osborne Masingila, Dean, School of Education, Syracuse University

Healing Stories: The Path to Success is Covered in Failure

One of the greatest honors I’ve had in life was to be invited back to my alma mater Syracuse University to do the keynote address to graduating students a year ago.

From the days I was in Syracuse to today. They wanted the students to get a honest idea of what it really takes to become successful in life.

If I knew along the way how incredibly challenging my life would be I’m not sure I would have accepted the challenge. But it was worth it. Here is my story, my commencement address, to the graduating students of Syracuse University

DAVID ESSEL 2017 COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS, SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY
S.U. GRADUATE, 1979, HEALTH SELECTED STUDIES

Thank You Dr. Joanna Osborne Masingila and the School of Education…. Heather Waters and everyone here for inviting me to be a part of this really important day…

First congratulations to each of you!… The graduates of my alma mater, Syracuse University!

Probably the most important piece of information I can give you… Would be for everyone to tap in to your own inner “Lady Gaga” in the world of education… Be strong enough to be yourself, be unique, and you’ll make the biggest difference in the world in whatever career path you choose.

40 years ago in this gym… In Manley Fieldhouse I lived here… I love this place… As a member of the junior varsity basketball team… This was home.

(As a sidenote… 40 years from now you’ll be about 60 years old or so… I know at your age we don’t never think that’s going to happen… I sure didn’t… so make sure that you take full advantage of every breath for the rest of your life!)

40 years ago in this very gym with coach Roy Danforth and Jim Boeheim
Coach Danforth called me into his office… We have a spot for you on the varsity team do you want it?

Yes sir this is all I live for!

We want you to push our seniors in practice so that they’re ready for anything are you ready Essel?

Yes sir.

There’s only one catch… You’ll never get in a game

Never?

Never.

Ever?

Never.

24 hours later I return and tell coach that I can’t do it.

I ended up leaving school and going on a one and a half year search to find out what my purpose in life was.

I finally returned to Syracuse and enrolled in the School of Education and had one of the most incredible advisers ever, Dr. Carl Shantzis…
Continue reading here…

David Essel is a number one best-selling author, counselor, master life coach and inspirational speaker. If you would like help in overcoming any challenge you’re currently facing in life, simply visit www.davidessel.com

Healing Stories: From Foreclosure to Millionaire. You can do it too!

Healing Stories: From Foreclosure to Millionaire

Imagine this. You’re a single dad, two young children, and you just lost every penny to your name. You recently found out that your house will be taken away from you, and you have no idea what you’re going to do in life.

What would you do? The above scenario is the life my very good friend Ray Higdon actually lived. A number of years ago, as the real estate market crashed, Ray contacted me to see if I had any thoughts on what he should be doing to try to get out of the jam he was in.

After we met, I just looked at him and told him that I thought that he had the passion and energy to become super successful once again in life. And if he used his skills and talents, and found something he really believed in to sell, that he would find himself out of this situation never to return.

As Ray recalls in our number one best-selling book to which he was a participant in, he went home depressed, anxious.

He then went out and bought the book “The Secret” and tried to do everything they recommended for the next 30 days. Affirmations. Vision boards. And more. And after 30 days he found himself in a worse situation than he could’ve ever imagined.

He found a network marketing company that he believed in and read about a practice of going after 20 rejections a day. It didn’t sound like a lot of fun, because it’s not, but he was willing to do whatever it took for as long as it took to get out of his current financial crisis.

He never stopped calling friends, strangers, associates for the next several months. Every day he would stop only when he had 20 rejections… When 20 people told him no thank you he would stop for the day. But obviously when you’re going through that much rejection you’re going to find some people who are interested in getting on board and selling what you are selling.

Several years later, with persistent daily effort, he was earning $50,000 a month. That’s $600,000 a year for a guy that just a couple years earlier had nowhere to live and was struggling just to survive with his children.

Ray and his wife Jessica earn much more than that today. His drive has carried them forward. His willingness to risk rejection over and over and over lead to the breakthrough that now he helps other people to experience.

Many people in his situation would’ve thrown up their hands and become a victim .

How about you? Are you faced with some type of hurdle and you need an incredible healing… But you’re not willing to do the work? With your health? Money? Relationship? Career? Addiction? Spiritual path?

Regardless of what we’ve been told by many well-meaning teachers in the world of personal growth, unless it’s a miracle, the only way out of your current situation is to work your butt off. To get uncomfortable. Day after day after day.

Who is your accountability partner? If you’re truly ready to change and make it big you’re going to have to have a mentor, consultant, coach, counselor, personal trainer… Any huge goal most of us will never be able to achieve on our own. And that’s not bad. That’s just reality.

I want you to live the life that you desire. I know these healing stories can be motivational for you, me and everyone around us. But only if you’re willing to do the work, get uncomfortable, become persistent just like Ray Higdon was in order to radically change our lives.

You deserve what you desire. But… Only if you’re willing to do the work necessary to create the life you want.

Share this story with your friends. If you know someone who is struggling regardless of what area of life the struggle is happening… Share this story. And if you need help, reach out to someone who will hold you accountable to the changes that you need to make.

As I’ve said millions of times in my lectures, and in my books, I would never have gotten sober on my own… Or broken through financial problems… Or healed relationships… Or radically changed my body… Or anything else big. It’s always been because I’ve had coaches and mentors to hold me accountable on the way.

If I can help you, email me at www.davidessel.com.

David Essel is the number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and inspirational speaker whose mission is to help every individual possible, to achieve the life they deserve and desire.

Healing Stories: From Rape to Forgiveness

For the past 27 years, as a counselor and a master life coach, number one best-selling author, I’ve experienced so many incredible healing’s in my work. I’ve seen incredible transformations of people going from the caterpillar to the butterfly. It is amazing.

And nothing may be more amazing than the story of healing I’m about to share with you here.

A number of years ago a woman came to me, nine years after being brutally raped and left for dead. They never caught the rapist. So for nine straight years she lived in terror… Agoraphobic, she never left her house… She was on multiple medications for anxiety, depression, and a sleep disorder.

When she walked into the office and sat down she was a nervous wreck, as expected. Here she was sitting in front of a male counselor, the first male counselor she had ever worked with, trying to talk about an event that had traumatized her deeply nine years prior.

After working with a number of other counselors, and still not seeing the success she wanted, I was her final hope. I didn’t know that at the time but I was about to find out that this could be one of the greatest challenges I had ever faced in my years of doing the work as a counselor and coach.

I asked during the first session if any of the previous counselors had worked with her in something that we call “desensitization therapy”.

In other words had they helped her to process the experience from the beginning to the end of what happened on that terrible night in order to bring that experience down in regards to our emotional response.

With this type of work, we have to move extremely slowly. Any form of PTSD from near drowning’s, to being beaten in relationships, raped, returning from war, recovering from an auto accident, needs to be done in a very patient and slow way.

So after a few weeks I gave her the first assignment, with a loving voice, that I would like her to begin to recall the rape experience in writing. I gave her detailed instructions to try to take some of the pressure off but at the same time letting her know that I would be here with her as many days as she needed me walking through this experience together.
She would never be alone in her healing.

While she was hesitant at first she did catch on and started to write on a daily basis about the experience.

When she would come in week after week I would ask her to read what she had written and of course at first it was a terrifying experience for her. But in the safety of my office, and with an open heart, I gently nudged her and told her that in the world of desensitization, what were trying to do is take a horrific experience from the past and to write about it so many times that it simply becomes a fact of life. When we get to that level we can move forward in life never forgetting the trauma from the past but being able to now finally deal with it in a way that is respectful, releasing, and healing all at the same time.

We were together for approximately one year. Halfway through the experience she was talking about that fateful night with a tone that would be equivalent to someone talking about what they ate for dinner the night before. We had reached a huge level of success. She was absolutely shocked at the progress she had made in just a simple six months.

By the eighth month she was moving off of all of her medication, along with her doctors understanding, she was starting to take smaller and smaller dosages of her antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, and sleep pharmaceuticals. At the end of the year she was totally free of all medications! We had gone through a written process of desensitization even into an area she never thought she would reach… The forgiveness of her rapist .

When I tell this story to audiences people are absolutely shocked that individuals can move forward after an extreme PTSD experience like this into a place of health and happiness.
But the healing isn’t done by me. I am simply the facilitator, asking questions and giving assignments.

My clients must be willing to go into the discomfort… Into the pain… To release it. This brave woman did everything I asked of her and at the end of our time together she was a radically different person.

As they say on television commercials I wouldn’t recommend that anyone try to do this by themselves at home. If you have experienced an incredibly stressful or traumatic event even from 50 years ago reach out and ask for a counselor to take you through the steps necessary to reach your own level of healing.

It’s easy to make mistakes in these type of exercises so rely on someone else to take you through it.

Here are a few things to think about if you have faced trauma in your past or even in your present experience:

Number one. Millions of people before you have made the choice to do the hard work to heal. It’s not easy. I don’t want anyone to think that you can just make up your mind to forgive someone and it will happen. It really does take a full commitment.

Number two. Be patient with yourself. Let me repeat this. Be extremely patient with your own healing. To take 12 months of counseling to heal from something so traumatic is not unusual. As a matter of fact I worked with another woman a number of years ago with an extreme trauma in her past and it took us two years to reach the same level of freedom. Be patient.

You deserve the life you desire. I am so proud of the client that I’m talking about today, her persistence, perseverance, resilience, that led to her being completely free from the past. She’s a walking miracle and you can be too.

David Essel is a number one best-selling author, counselor, master life coach and inspirational speaker. If you would like help in overcoming any challenge you’re currently facing in life, simply visit www.davidessel.com

David Essel, marriage, relationship, abusive relationship, happy marriage, healthy relationships, how to save a relationship, David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life…

Healing Stories: The Saving of a Marriage

For most of us, marriage is hard work. Really hard work. And it seems with the divorce rate of over 50%, that a lot of us think marriage should be something effortless, like the old fantasy speak when people talk about finding your soulmate and never ever arguing for the rest of your lives together.

I wish it was true. But, after 27 years as a counselor and a life coach I can tell you that most successful marriages come about when people are able to ask for help, reach outside of themselves, to take care of the resentments and issues that may have been with a couple for a very long period of time.

About 10 years ago a woman came in to work with me after being in a dysfunctional marriage for a number of years. Everything came to a head, when her and her husband got into a physical altercation in their home.

A restraining order was placed upon him, and because they had a small child, the only way they could meet was on a very limited period of time in a very public setting.

During our sessions she would often wonder aloud if she should ever consider taking her husband back. He had been through anger management counseling, by then the restraining order had been dropped, and they were seeing each other a couple days a week mainly so he could see their young child.

I told her that number one she would have to take full responsibility for her role in the physical altercation that lead to her husband being taken to jail, and the concept of divorce was very real and in their faces.

Within a couple weeks she had done just that. Even though she wasn’t the one who had started the altercation, she accepted her role as someone who would push his buttons many times, in this case one too many, that helped push him over the edge.

Within another month or two he contacted me and said that he wanted to start working with me as well since he had completed his court ordered counseling.

Now to the average person, there is not even a question here. Divorce him now! As a matter of fact that’s what most people in her family said would be the best option, but she wasn’t so sure.

Due to this experience, his mind was wide open. He followed everything I asked him to write about, read about, he showed up on time for sessions and even did extra homework that I had never requested.

She did the same thing. She continued to come and work with me for over a year, as they tried to make a decision that would be best for them and best for their young child.

At the end of the year of working together they asked for my opinion. It was easy for me to look at both of them together in one session and tell them I thought they had what it took to bring their love back together, because we had already examined what led to the confrontations in the first place.

Their marriage grew stronger. Their love grew stronger. There was nothing getting in their way, and they created the most incredible love relationship out of something that seemed like absolute hell.

Regardless of how difficult your relationship might be, when both people come to the plate with an open mind and are willing to do the work necessary to heal their love, healing can take place.

You might be reading this and think that in your marriage, even though it’s filled with drama, it’s nowhere near this bad. But, if you want a great relationship instead of a mediocre one, that’s when we reach out for help.

I am so proud of this couple. I’m so proud of the thousands of couples I’ve worked with that Have created something beautiful in love, when they are on their backs hitting bottom.

If you’d like a few steps to help improve your marriage or relationship, whether it is seriously on the rocks or just not meeting your expectations , Please do the following:

Number one. Write down all of the things that attracted you to your partner in the beginning. What was it about them that made them special? Unique? A good fit for you?

Number two. This will take some deep, honest, soul-searching. How have you let your partner down? What have you done that has not been in the best interest of your relationship? Is it passive aggressive behavior? Have you become resistant to their needs? Have you become selfish with your time? Are you struggling with an addiction, that you need help with?

Number three. When you look at the above responsibilities that come from your side of the fence in this relationship, create a list of action steps that you can do to improve how you act with and around your partner. Don’t fall into the victim mentality state, where everything that’s gone wrong with your relationship is their fault. It rarely if ever is.

Number four. Ask for help. Whether it’s with a counselor, coach, minister, rabbi or anyone else in the world of relationships… Don’t do it on your own. Reach out for help. Even if it means that you go alone, because your partners not interested, many relationships have been healed with just one person reaching out for help.

If I can help you in anyway whatsoever go to our website www.davidessel.com/relationships and we can create for you, the same thing we helped this other couple create…

Deep, abiding, lasting love.

Need Motivation? Stuck in Life? Do This

“When we are stuck in life motivation wanes.
We become lethargic or overly anxious.
Follow the 2 steps in this super short video right now…Success awaits”


SIGN UP NOW AND SHATTER PROCRASTINATION FOREVER!

“This is the best idea to help people Daily!!! And this was the perfect way to start our day, with talking about our main goal and writing it down and writing the steps to achieve it. I love it!”

DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH PROCRASTINATION?

 DO YOU HAVE GREAT GOALS…BUT JUST CANNOT SEEM TO ACCOMPLISH THEM?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR VERY OWN COUNSELOR, CHEERLEADER, LIFE COACH,  5 DAYS A WEEK…TO HELP INSPIRE YOU TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED?

These daily video tips, every Monday – Friday,  will help you:

  • Shatter procrastination forever!
  • Get highly focused on the most important goal for you in 2017.
  • Learn how to get off the fence in life and into daily action to make your dreams a reality…
  • Find an accountability partner so that you can hold each other’s feet to the fire to do what’s needed every day.
  • Shatter any negative attitude or mindset that has been keeping you back from living at your full potential.
  • Learn how to make the first 30 minutes of every day the powerful breeding grounds for a positive mental attitude.
  • Shake off the subconscious sabotaging thoughts that can get in the way of the most well intended person when trying to create a dynamic new life.
  • Create daily action steps that will actually bring the results you so desire to you…Not mindless activity…But rather action steps that are both meaningful and specific.
  • And finally, learn how to boost your own self-confidence and self-esteem so that you carry this practice forward for the rest of the year.

David Essel’s “Daily Video Boost” is a daily inspirational video series that will be emailed directly to you every day, (you can join in anytime!), to give you the boost you need to make “2017 your best year ever!”

Sign up now for only $9.95 a month!

SIGN UP NOW!