David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will, career advice, motivational speaker

Healing Stories: Gratitude Rocks…But are we doing it all wrong?

Gratitude Rocks…But are we doing it all wrong?

For years some of the most amazing experts in the world of personal growth have proven that having an attitude filled with gratitude can help us move through this thing called life.

Gratitude has been found to increase immune system functioning, as well as releasing chemicals in the brain that can make us feel happy, calm, and focused.

But have we been doing this incredible exercise called gratitude all wrong?

For 28 years, number one best-selling author, counselor and life coach David Essel has been helping people to achieve every imaginable goal in life, including having a great attitude.

He believes that gratitude is a critically important part of everyone’s daily routine if they want to have a more positive, serene approach to life.

But, and here is the caveat, David believes that we’re doing it all wrong. Here are his thoughts on where we’ve gone wrong with gratitude and how to right this ship today.“I love gratitude. Every morning when I get up I sit in my chair, light my candle, I have pictures of Christ and Buddha and an amazing array of saints around me as I profess my gratitude for everything I have in life.

As I walk my dog every morning more gratitude spills forth because I know the power of gratitude.

However, we’ve been taught how to do gratitude by most of the experts today in a very incorrect way. And I, better than anyone else, should know this because I was one of those experts who for years used to teach people the incorrect way to be grateful in life .

Almost every book that you see today will have thoughts of gratitude in which these experts are telling us to project our gratefulness for things that we don’t even have yet.

Book after book, seminar after seminar being led by very well-meaning people who tell us to “have gratitude for the million dollar home… Even though you don’t have it. Have gratitude for that size six body, even though you’re a size 18… Have gratitude for that incredible lover that you’re bringing into your life, even though you’re single.”

Does anyone other than me see the insanity in these teachings? These very teachings that I used to bring around the world from 1980 to 1996 as an inspirational international public speaker?

Yes I was one of those people and I’m calling myself out once again.

It doesn’t make sense does it? To have gratitude for things you don’t have? Isn’t that like lying to ourselves?

Of course it’s lying to ourselves! Because we are lying to ourselves!

If we know anything now about the power of the subconscious mind we know that it takes these statements of gratitude and rolls over laughing time after time.

Everyone who’s reading this article, that thinks it’s healthy to be thankful for things you don’t have, I want to ask you to take another look at the reality behind a healthy approach to gratitude.

I’m not saying don’t be grateful. I’m also not saying don’t have statements of gratitude or stop journaling your gratefulness every morning or every evening as you go to bed. Hell I still do it but I do it in a different way.

I do it in a way that I’m not lying to myself  rather I’m doing it in a way to stay in the present moment, being grateful for what I have.

I believe we should be grateful but we should be grateful in the present moment for what we have. So my stance on gratitude has changed dramatically over the last 22 years.

Now I have my clients, who desire to utilize gratitude, to be grateful for the effort they’re putting into their weight-loss program. I have my clients create a list of gratitude for their effort to stay sober. I have other clients create a list of gratitude for the attempt they’re making to save their marriage or relationship.

Do you see the huge difference here? We were taught earlier to have gratitude statements that were actual lies. Now I’m saying be grateful for the truth in your life, not some type of fantastical thinking that isn’t even here yet. And may never be.

I want people to use gratitude and live in the now. In the present moment. This is where our strength is. This is where our power is. If you use statements of gratitude for things you don’t have you’re living in the future and because of the false sense of security these statements of gratitude give us we may not even put full effort out to accomplish those goals. Does that make sense?

But instead, if you follow this new form of gratitude that we outline in great detail in our brand new book “focus!“, you will  find  a lifting of your spirits.  Yes there will still be a release of endorphins in the brain when you have  statements of gratitude for what you’re doing differently today then what you’ve done in the past.

The statements of gratitude that I’m encouraging you to follow are ones of reality, based in the present moment, and based on truth not on fantastical thinking.

I also deeply believe that the statements of gratitude need to be put in writing. Then you have the conscious mind writing out the gratefulness that you have for the changes you’re making to get sober, lose weight, cut your expenses, forgive someone from the past… And you have the subconscious mind seeing your efforts to change put on paper in the physical world.
So how about you? What do you want to start being grateful for that you have in your life right now? Can you be grateful for the income that you have even if it’s not perfect? That would be a great start.

Can you be grateful for having two arms and two legs, if you do, as you move towards losing the weight that you want to lose?

Can you be grateful for being single and take this period of time when you’re not in a relationship to look at the past errors that you made, not just your former partners, so you can correct them to be ready for the next deep love affair?

I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that this new form of gratitude I’m teaching you today is going to sweep the world as we throw out the old wishful thinking statements regarding gratitude and bring in the new reality of gratitude statements that are going to be far more effective in helping you to stay on path to make the changes you need to make, to live the life you’re destined to live.

Join me won’t you? Drop the old ridiculous statements around gratitude for things you don’t have, and instead, join me in the present moment as we shift, change and create the New World we’ve always wanted.“

David Essel‘s work has been endorsed by people like the late Wayne Dyer and celebrities such as Jenny McCarthy amongst millions of more people from around the world.

His work as a counselor and life coach is verified by psychology today and he is also verified as one of the top relationship experts in the world by

David accepts new clients every week from around the world where he works with them to help them achieve any and all goals they desire via Skype and or phone.At the website below, send us an email via the contact us button, mention where you read this article and we will set you up with a free 15 minute phone counseling session with David at

365 days of love, wealth, health, gratitude with David Essel

Here we go!

A online daily journal on love, wealth, success, health, gratitude.

Day 1, let’s all pick up our A game and rock this world.

Enjoy the video.

Love, David