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David Essel, marriage, relationship, abusive relationship, happy marriage, healthy relationships, how to save a relationship, David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life…

Healing Stories: Relationships – Overcoming the Affair – The Four Keys to Reclaim Love

David Essel, marriage, relationship, abusive relationship, happy marriage, healthy relationships, how to save a relationship, David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life…

Healing Stories: Overcoming the Affair – The Four Keys to Reclaim Love

Almost everyone that enters into a romantic love relationship says that if their partner were ever to have an affair the relationship is dead. Over. Gone.

But is that really the case? Millions of people who face the prognosis of an affair will choose to try to save the relationship versus end it.

Number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach and radio host David Essel has helped hundreds of couples since 1990 reclaim love after an affair. But he’s also seen an equal number that during their attempt to save the relationship, actually sabotage it.

“For those of us who have been on the receiving end, or the giving end of an affair, the stress is off the charts. Do I want to stay with them? Are they worthy of me bringing them back into my heart? If you’re the one who cheated, you may be thinking very similar thoughts. In other words, there are no winners when it comes to an affair.

But I can tell you that there’s some really important keys to follow if you want to try to save a relationship after an affair. Here they are:

Number one: Whoever cheated must become more humble and vulnerable than they’ve ever been in their life. With my clients in this position I tell them that they’re going to have to basically be on their knees, asking for forgiveness, and be willing to do almost anything their partner asks to prove their serious about reclaiming the relationship.

This takes an immense amount of humility. And it’s not just doing this for 30 or 60 days, in my practice as a counselor, I’ve seen that it takes up to 365 days in a row of someone truly being humbled in order for their partner to trust them once again.

Number two: Now this next step is brutal. It’s for the person who did not cheat. After I work with this individual for about four weeks I ask them to get serious. To look within and see what role they had in the affair. Of course many times at first they balk. They claim they did nothing. But after deeper introspection, and answering the questions that we’ve created for people in this situation, 100% of the time they see a role they played in the affair.

They understand that they shut down in bed for six months which encouraged their partner to seek something from the outside world. Or they became highly passive aggressive in the relationship. Or they became workaholics, alcoholics, foodaholics. In other words they picked up an addiction so they didn’t have to spend time with their partner. Once they see the reality of their role the relationship has a much better chance to heal.

Number three: Going back to the person who cheated. I have them do an exercise where they write down all the reasons why they strayed from the relationship. Were they bored? Did they have deep resentments? Was there unresolved rage or anger at their partner? Were they simply following the role model in childhood, or mom or dad who had an affair? Were they afraid of speaking openly? Were they afraid of communicating their true feelings because they thought they might get shut down?

When the person who cheated goes through and answers all of these questions it starts to bring great insight for me as a counselor as to what we have to do to help the couple reclaim their love.

Number four: Forgiveness. The last step I take each of these individuals separately through is forgiveness. For the person who cheated, I take them through a series of exercises to forgive themselves for the error they made. For the person who did not cheat, I take them through a series of exercises to forgive themselves as well for what they did that may have encouraged their partner to look outside of the relationship for validation.

I will give two separate examples of couples I’ve worked with after an affair. One who was successful, and the other was not.

The successful couple. They did everything I mentioned above with 100% energy. Within 365 days of working with them individually they were able to reclaim their love, forgive themselves, forgive each other, that was 17 years ago and today their love is stronger than ever.

The unsuccessful couple. In this case, the husband who cheated, did everything I asked of him to reclaim the relationship. As I worked with him it was amazing to see the transformation of humility. But on the other hand, his wife never took him off of the cross. She continued to berate him. Even after nine months of him doing everything that she wanted him to do to prove he would never cheat again she constantly reminded him of what a loser he was. That she would never trust him. At that time in the counseling I let the wife go. I told her that I couldn’t work with her if she wasn’t willing to look at her role and to start the process of forgiveness.

I continued to work with the husband, but he had a very tough road to go through. Unfortunately, I don’t see this relationship healing unless the woman becomes extremely humble, vulnerable, and tries to risk the concept of forgiveness.

Millions of couples will go through this very same experience and the ones who heal will find a deeper love than they’ve ever experienced with each other in the past.”

If you need help in your relationship, before an affair happens, or after one occurs, reach out to David at www.davidessel.com

To read more stories like this and to find out how David can help you see David’s Blog

Healing Stories: Struggling “I was so lost…”

Why?Healing stories, “I was so lost…”

 

Millions of Americans wake up every day lost in life. Maybe they’re struggling with money. They’re in a relationship they can’t fix. They’re overweight, struggling with not only health issues but with self-esteem. Or maybe they’re struggling with addiction.

The bottom line is… Millions of Americans are lost in life right now.

For the past 37 years, counselor, life coach, number one best-selling author and radio host David Essel has had one mission only… “To help lift the spirits of 1 million people or more every day.”

The story David is going to share with us today, comes from one of his clients who was absolutely lost in life… And what he did to totally turn it around.

” My work over the past 37 years has been to help people find direction in life. People who are lost, confused, frustrated, addicted and more.

A while ago I received a call from a man who said that he needed help in every area of life. He had struggled deeply with an addiction to opiates, alcohol, nicotine, weight and so much more.

He said he was motivated. He was ready. Of course everyone says that, but there are a few people who are truly ready to do everything that they possibly can to change their lives.

He was one of them. Totally lost, and about to find himself for possibly the first time in his existence. He was raised in an addicted household.

Alcohol and drugs were part of the every day existence of many members of his family. So he became the environment that he lived in.

His latest struggle was an all out battle with opiate addiction, combined with alcohol, nicotine and his low self-esteem had allowed him to gain 80 pounds. More than he had ever weighed in his life.

In his first session we went into a discussion about the power of the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind. He was eating it up like a sponge drinks water. He was asking questions. He was taking notes. He was talking about action steps that he wanted me to help him create, so within the next seven days he was on the path to freedom. He wanted to find himself now.

Over the course of several months he got to see how his environment as a young child had molded him into the addict he was today.

Whenever you’re in an environment where adults use alcohol on a regular basis, or prescription drugs, or siblings who may be experimenting with drugs and alcohol and encourage you to be part of their world… The odds of moving through that type of childhood into adulthood free of addiction are incredibly tiny.

When we did an exercise looking at all the emotions he was running from, through the use of alcohol, drugs and nicotine, as well as food, and he was blown away. His subconscious mind had accepted a pattern that this was normal. Absolutely normal. But of course this and result of his life has been nothing but abnormal.

He looked back and thought that by now in his life he should be a millionaire. He looked at his relationship with his wife and thought it is nowhere near where it needs to be. He came in about the second month more fired up than I’d ever seen him.

He was taking the brain chemistry supplements I recommended and was feeling incredible. He had cut down is nicotine from 20 pieces of nicotine gum a day to five and soon that would go to one.

When I describe the importance of exercise, as a way to release endorphins in the brain to help lift his spirits and give him energy, he knew it was true but couldn’t figure out how to fit it into his schedule with his long workdays. But he was about to change everything. When he came in the next week with his new schedule of eating every four hours, which he had never done before, exercising at 4:30 in the morning, even I was blown away!

I kept saying to myself… Here was a guy that just a month ago who was totally lost… Who is really finding himself now.

His new schedule was impressive. Up at 3:45 in the morning. Meditation. Affirmations. Journaling. In the gym at 5 o’clock in the morning. Out of the gym at 7:30 in the morning. Into work by 8 o’clock, and back home by 6 o’clock. What a day!

And then came the rebuilding of his marriage. He started leaving notes for his wife every morning as he left early for the gym. Short little notes. “I love you. I will miss you today. I can’t wait to see you tonight. ”

He was lost… And now once again he was finding himself in a marriage he had always wanted to be this special, loving, kind.

We got into the discussion of the power of thought and he quickly picked up that our thoughts would only account for 20% of our success… The other 80%? Action into the uncomfortable. But he also saw that once he started to do the action steps into the uncomfortable… They just became a part of his life.

He was lost… Now he had found himself. His life. His marriage. Even his work picked up dramatically as he started to see the difference that he was making in the lives of others, and how work continued to pour in almost faster than he could handle it.

The icing on the cake for me actually came as a surprise phone call from his wife one day after we had ended working together for over a month. As she started talking of course my concern was hoping that he had not gone back to his old ways but the opposite was true.

She was filled with joy. She commented about the notes that he left every morning, and how they had made a complete difference in their marriage… Yes little notes in the morning had made a complete difference in their marriage.

Now, comes the best part. Not only is he changing his life by eating 4-5 times times a day, and going to the gym every day, but she has started to join him multiple days a week at the gym. Their marriage is solid.

Are you lost? Do you struggle with weight? Addiction? Emotional spending? Low self-esteem? Low self-confidence?

I can tell you firsthand after being in this industry for 37 years, that this type of turn around in someone’s life demands incredible effort, and it is worth every ounce of effort that you will give it.

I am so proud of this former client. You can do the same thing. Are you ready? Contact us at www.davidessel.com and we will help you achieve the life you’ve always wanted.”

The Most Important Component of Love? Find out

What is the most important component of love?

Is it gifts? Sex? Compatibility?

Watch this super short video to find out.

And…Happy Valentine’s Day!

About David Essel, M.S.

“David Essel’s destiny is to help you become more alive in every area of your life.” ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will, motivational speaker, coaching and mentoring career counselor, confidence, how to be confident, relationship questions, best motivational speakers, career path, healthy relationships, best way to lose weight, self confidence, money advice, addict, relationships, career assessment, life advice.

David Essel, M.S., for 30 years, has been considered one of the leading experts in the field of personal growth.

He is a #1 Best Selling Author of 9 books, a TV/Radio Host, Master Business, Relationship &

Success Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Addiction Recovery Coach and an All Faiths Minister.

His newest #1 Best selling book is : “Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… BUT THIS BOOK WILL! The Myth of Positive Thinking, THE REALITY OF SUCCESS”

Master Business, Relationship, and Success Coach, TV/Radio Host, Author of 9 Books, Inspirational Speaker

David began his career in the health and fitness industry and quickly was named “Mr. Motivation” and “The #1 Life Coach in the USA.” by Lifetime Television and “The Master of Motivation” by American Fitness magazine.

He parlayed this worldwide reputation into the world of athletes and athletics after getting his Master’s Degree in Fitness Management, where his emphasis on sport psychology led him to work as the “Mental Success Counselor” for basketball and tennis players from around the USA.

In 1990, a chance encounter with an athletic client who desired a life free of resentments against her former husband, led him deeply into the world of relationship work, with both singles and couples.

That same year he became one of the first nationally recognized Master Life Coaches in the USA, as his work was featured weekly on national radio and television shows. In 1996 David created Life Coach Universe, a Life Coach Certification organization that has certified individuals wanting to make a difference in this world from across the USA, Spain, Bermuda, and the Cayman Islands.

For 25 years, David’s nationally syndicated radio talk show, ” David Essel Alive!” has been heard via Westwood One , XM Satellite Radio and Premiere Radio/ Clear Channel Communications on iHeart Radio. David now hosts 2 nationally syndicated radio shows heard every Saturday morning and evening.

His national work as a motivational segment reporter and host in television began in 1988 with WWOR-TV, then Fox TV’s “Good Day New York” as well as Lifetime Television’s “The Image Workshop”, and the popular Fox TV show “The Morning Blend”.

David has helped thousands of people from around the world achieve their greatest goals in every area of life. From doubling and even tripling their income, to freedom from addictions, preparation for deep love, getting the body they’ve always wanted, releasing long held negative attitudes, overcoming deep depression and anxiety, overcoming emotional and sexual abuse, changing careers or creating dramatic success as business owners, public speaking, as well as helping couples recover from affairs and creating a deep personal connection with God or one’s higher power. David is a renowned expert in the field of co-dependency, where he has helped thousands of people from around the world shatter the “largest addiction known to man.”

There are no topics or circumstances David has not encountered, and helped people overcome, over the past 30 years.

His mission is to inspire others to reach their own exceptional potential in their business and personal life.

Learn more about David and what he does right here http://davidessel.com/

Make America’s Intimacy Great Again!

Make America’s Intimacy Great Again!

After seeing months of negative commentary on social media, we decided to take a different approach.

Let’s focus on enhancing our levels of physical intimacy because….

1. When you’re having sex… You won’t complain about politics.
2. When you’re having sex… You won’t complain about the marches and demonstrations
3. When you’re having more sex… You won’t be posting and arguing on Facebook.
4. When you’re having more sex… The core area of your body becomes more conditioned and toned
5. When you’re having more sex… Your immune system function is much better.
6. When you’re having more sex… Your attitude improves, you actually become a better person
Please share… Right after you have more sex… Love David ️❣️

Make America’s Intimacy Great Again!

Lets look at the facts:

Many people in relationships, as well as obviously many single individuals in the USA, complain about a lack of sexuality. They become frustrated, that one of the most pleasurable activities on the face of this planet, is somehow eluding them.

COUPLES:

For couples, in the past 36 years of my work as a counselor and life coach, when there’s too little sex in a love relationship there are dangers to look out for:

1. Can easily lead to resentment.

2. Can easily lead to arguments

3. Can easily lead to passive aggressive, negative behaviors

4. Can easily lead to emotional affairs

5. Can easily lead to physical affairs, and the possible demise or destruction of their love relationship.

Benefits of regular sex at least two times per week:

1. Improves sleep

2. Decreases stress

3. Decreases pain sensation in the body

4. Increases your desire to have more sex

5. Lowers blood pressure

6. Increases your emotional connection with your partner

7. Decreases your risk of heart attack

8. Decreases your risk of colds and flu.

SINGLE:

If you’re single, the benefits of self-love, or sexual self pleasure, also known as masturbation is:

1. For men, a possible decrease in the risk of prostate cancer

2. For men, a decrease in erectile dysfunction

3. A boost in our mood for both men and women, through the release of oxytocin and dopamine

4. Helps individuals to get to know their own body, what turns them on, so that when they’re in a relationship they know what to share with their partner

5. For teenage girls, teaching self pleasure, allows them to know that can take care of their own desires by themselves, and do not need to risk having sex with boys in order to feel sexual pleasure, DECREASING TEEN PREGNANCY AND THE SPREAD OF STD’S.

6. For teenage boys, the same applies. When they realize they can take care of their own intimate needs, there’s less risk of being with a teenage girl in order to get the benefits of sexual satisfaction, DECREASING TEEN PREGNANCY AND THE SPREAD OF STD’S.

MORE BENEFITS?

Lasting power for men.
A release of negative beliefs for women.

In David’s number one best-selling book “Positive thinking will never change your life with this book will! The myth of positive thinking, the reality of success”, he tells about his own journey to become a better, longer lasting partner .

A challenge for many men, is to learn the techniques necessary to be able to train their body to not “release to soon” during the process of making love. Through his many interviews with sex therapists, like Dr Barbara Keesling, he took these exercises to heart, which any man can, and by practicing these exercises was able to fulfill his partners desires, without releasing too soon.

In his own practice, he shared these techniques with hundreds of men, and when they practice these on their own they all found outstanding end results in the bedroom.

He has also helped thousands of women, who desire a greater enjoyment of sexuality, by helping them to work through their fears, resentments, and even guilt and shame that can inhibit, and actually destroy one’s desire for healthy sexual activity.

He’s also helped women learn how to communicate their needs, both emotional and physical regarding sex, so that their partnerships grow to a more intimate and rewarding level.

As he talks about during his lectures on intimacy, love and sexuality, people who learn how to fulfill their partners desires, while also being able to express their own wants and needs in the area of sexuality, have the most lasting and fulfilling love relationships.

NOW…………. is your chance to enhance your level of intimacy, and take advantage of all of the emotional, physical and psychological advantages that we discussed in this important post!

Join David in his popular 10 week course, “Love and Relationships”, which you can take with a friend , partner or by yourself, via phone, Skype or in David’s Florida office.

Join today right here, http://davidessel.com/love-relationships-10-hour-course
(Mention this post and save 10% if you join us before February 14, 2017!)

LOVE: JENNY MCCARTHY SHARES HER LOVE EXPERIENCES WITH DAVID

JENNY MCCARTHY SHARES HER LOVE EXPERIENCES WITH DAVID

The last time David was on Jenny McCarthy’s National Radio Show he asked her to share the mistakes she has made in love. Here you go!

Watch this super short video.

About David Essel, M.S.

“David Essel’s destiny is to help you become more alive in every area of your life.” ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

David Essel, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will, motivational speaker, coaching and mentoring career counselor, confidence, how to be confident, relationship questions, best motivational speakers, career path, healthy relationships, best way to lose weight, self confidence, money advice, addict, relationships, career assessment, life advice

David Essel, M.S., for 30 years, has been considered one of the leading experts in the field of personal growth.

He is a #1 Best Selling Author of 9 books, a TV/Radio Host, Master Business, Relationship &

Success Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Addiction Recovery Coach and an All Faiths Minister.

His newest #1 Best selling book is : “Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… BUT THIS BOOK WILL! The Myth of Positive Thinking, THE REALITY OF SUCCESS”

Master Business, Relationship, and Success Coach, TV/Radio Host, Author of 9 Books, Inspirational Speaker

David began his career in the health and fitness industry and quickly was named “Mr. Motivation” and “The #1 Life Coach in the USA.” by Lifetime Television and “The Master of Motivation” by American Fitness magazine.

He parlayed this worldwide reputation into the world of athletes and athletics after getting his Master’s Degree in Fitness Management, where his emphasis on sport psychology led him to work as the “Mental Success Counselor” for basketball and tennis players from around the USA.

In 1990, a chance encounter with an athletic client who desired a life free of resentments against her former husband, led him deeply into the world of relationship work, with both singles and couples.

That same year he became one of the first nationally recognized Master Life Coaches in the USA, as his work was featured weekly on national radio and television shows. In 1996 David created Life Coach Universe, a Life Coach Certification organization that has certified individuals wanting to make a difference in this world from across the USA, Spain, Bermuda, and the Cayman Islands.

For 25 years, David’s nationally syndicated radio talk show, ” David Essel Alive!” has been heard via Westwood One , XM Satellite Radio and Premiere Radio/ Clear Channel Communications on iHeart Radio. David now hosts 2 nationally syndicated radio shows heard every Saturday morning and evening.

His national work as a motivational segment reporter and host in television began in 1988 with WWOR-TV, then Fox TV’s “Good Day New York” as well as Lifetime Television’s “The Image Workshop”, and the popular Fox TV show “The Morning Blend”.

David has helped thousands of people from around the world achieve their greatest goals in every area of life. From doubling and even tripling their income, to freedom from addictions, preparation for deep love, getting the body they’ve always wanted, releasing long held negative attitudes, overcoming deep depression and anxiety, overcoming emotional and sexual abuse, changing careers or creating dramatic success as business owners, public speaking, as well as helping couples recover from affairs and creating a deep personal connection with God or one’s higher power. David is a renowned expert in the field of co-dependency, where he has helped thousands of people from around the world shatter the “largest addiction known to man.”

There are no topics or circumstances David has not encountered, and helped people overcome, over the past 30 years.

His mission is to inspire others to reach their own exceptional potential in their business and personal life.

Learn more about David and what he does right here http://davidessel.com/

David Essel, Microphone, Positive Thinking Will NEVER Change Your Life… But This Book Will,

“WHEN IS LOVE, REALLY LOVE?”

“WHEN IS LOVE, REALLY LOVE?”

“I love you”…Is the start of love. But how do we really know if love is…well, real love?

Watch this super short video right now.

David Essel, Positive Thinking Will Never Change Your Life, But This Book Will!, motivational speaker, coaching and mentoring, how to be confident, relationship questions, career path, self confidence, money advice, executive coaching, what is a life coach, find a life coach, success coach, life coach

How and Why Do We Sabotage Love Relationships?

Over the years we have worked with thousands of clients who unknowingly sabotage the potential for great love relationships.

Watch this super short video to discover why we do this and how it is done…

Red Flags of dating! David Essel on Fox TV

Look there’s a red flag, and another and another!

Then, why are we still with that person, after seeing all of the red flags of dating?

And what are those flags anyway?

Watch this clip of David on Fox TV!

Crazy making in love! Oh NO!

Crazy making in love, is actually a form of co-dependency!

Watch this super short video, and learn how to end this insanity today.

THE RED FLAGS OF DATING!

YES! These are the red flags of dating that too many of us DO NOT pay attention to.

 

Enjoy