Is Life Fair?
You can do everything right in life, and still struggle. Is life really fair?
Millions of people today will wake up to news they never wanted to hear.
It could be that there was a flood in the neighborhood of a family member who’s trapped inside.
It could be a divorce that seemingly came out of nowhere.
It could be an illness, a deadly illness that someone who has lived perfectly their whole life, somehow contracted.
It could be a financial mess, that was just a freak of nature.
So what do we do, when we really are a good person trying hard, but life continues to be a struggle?
For the past 30 years, number one best-selling author, counselor, master Life Coach and minister David Essel‘s been helping people to try to figure out the ins and outs of life, why life can seem to be so unfair at times, and why, even when we’re doing everything we can in a positive direction, that we can hit with great tragedy.
Below, David shares his thoughts on this topic and maybe a few things we can do to help us along the way of our struggle.
“Here’s something interesting: as a minister, I can tell you, that it doesn’t matter how much you love God, believe in God, pray to God, praise God on a daily basis… Terrible horrendous things can still happen to you.
It doesn’t matter how great you take care of your body, although I highly recommend everyone eat clean and exercise daily, you can still come down with a deadly disease that has nothing to do with your lifestyle, and maybe even nothing to do with your genetics!
You can go out of your way for an employee, next-door neighbor, a partner, a child, parent… In helping them to change their lives and they can betray you. They can betray you, as a matter of fact, over and over and over again.
There are so many bad things that happen to good people.
So some people say, “David, what’s the use of even trying to do the right thing when tragedy can hit me at any time even if I’m doing everything perfectly?“
And it’s a great question!
First, let’s take a look at why life is not fair.
Number One. Many times when I’m working with a client that is talking about how life is such a struggle, how they’re doing everything perfectly, why they don’t understand the tragedies or the struggles or the frustration and drama they face in life every day, the first thing we do is sit down and we evaluate everything with that they are doing to make sure that what their mind is telling them they’re doing they’re actually doing in the physical world.
Sometimes, when you’re working with someone like me, it’s really shocking to see when you’re telling me that you want to make more money because you’re really struggling, and you’re working 12 hours a day, but when we do our daily time recall sheet, the next week when I work with you we find out that you’re only working… On average four hours a day.
How about in our best selling book, “Love and Relationship Secrets… That everyone needs to know!“, I tell the story of a woman who was more in love with her partner than anyone else she had ever dated in her entire life.
In her perception, she was the perfect partner, always available for him, always doing whatever he needed and wanted, and she couldn’t understand why he was so pissed off at her all the time.
When I ended up working with both of them, I found a totally different reality, something that she was not looking at realistically.
He told me “David, three days a week she is a rockstar, she is on point, organized and helping me immensely… But the other four days? She just disappears. All of a sudden she could care less, she’ll break promises, she’ll fill her day with lunch with girlfriends and totally leave out all of the things she was going to do around the house in order to make our life run effectively.“
And what do we find out? She was right, for three days a week she was a rockstar just like he said, unfortunately, the other four days she was following the pattern that had been imprinted in her subconscious mind as she watched her mom berate her dad, lie to her dad on a daily basis.
So we have to check with the reality before we start to complain that life isn’t fair.
I am currently working with a weight-loss client from Europe, who can’t understand why she does not lose weight when her diet is perfect.
But here’s a shocker gang! When we did the deep work, and she started to do a dietary recall sheet every day, she saw that her diet was actually quite terrible, her mind had told her that she was eating good things which she would do about one time a day, but then the rest of the meals? A bunch of junk food.
So when you actually work with someone to see if there’s anything you’re doing that might create life as a struggle, sometimes we’re shocked to find out the issue is… Us.
In this case, the solution is easy to figure out, it might be hard to implement, but it’s easy to figure out.
When we see that we’re in denial of the work that we’re doing to make more money, lose weight, save a relationship… Then by changing our daily action plans we will change our life from one of struggle to one of peace.
Number Two. Now, this is a really tough one. You can as I mentioned above do everything correctly, you could have someone like me checking your schedule to see why you’re always late, or checking your expenditures to see why you’re struggling financially, and maybe in our work together we find out you are doing really great stuff.
So then, why is there so much chaos? Why are you faced with so many challenges? Why is life not fair for you?
And the answer is a difficult one to accept but it is a reality nonetheless.
The randomness of life can throw things at us from out of the blue, which we may have had no part of in regards to creating the drama, illness, or struggle that we’re facing.
In other words, I have met people with perfect diets, perfect exercise schedules, no alcohol, no drugs, and they find out that they have a serious illness and no one knows where it came from.
It was never in their family history, their lifestyle was perfect… So how did they come down with this disease?
The only answer that I have found in my 40 years of work, is that life is random. It’s not predictable hundred percent by any means whatsoever.
You can raise your kids with the perfect balance of praise and discipline, and they can become heroin addicts.
You can be honest with everyone in your life, but you still might have people in your life that lie to you, betray you, steal from you, cheat on you.
See, the randomness of life is one of the most difficult concepts and philosophies to understand, but once we do, we can begin to accept the challenges and learn how to live with them as we attempt to change them.
It doesn’t matter how much you love God, praise God, pray to God, you can still run into massive life challenges.
It doesn’t matter how much you tithe every week to God, you can still run into massive life challenges.
So the answer now is, how do I learn how to accept this challenge, gracefully move forward, even while still trying to improve myself but the bottom line is this: acceptance of the challenge is the very first step to freedom.
Sounds strange, doesn’t it?
It’s not easy… But so worth it.
If you’re stuck in a life struggle, if life has not been fair to you, and you’re really having a hard time understanding, coming up with a new game plan, or even contemplating the concept of accepting this as just part of your life, reach out to me.
We have a very powerful “30-minute jumpstart counseling session with David Essel“, where I will work with you from anywhere in the world via phone in Skype in order to listen to your challenges, and then to help you to see if you need to make changes because there are things that you’re not thinking of doing, that need to be done, or, begin the process to full acceptance.
Sign up for this 30 minute jumpstart counseling session today at www.davidessel.com and even in that one session you will feel better about yourself. And do you know why? Because you’re moving forward.“
David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny Mccarthy says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“
His work as a counselor and master Life Coach has been verified by organizations such as Psychology Today, and Marriage.com has verified David as one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the world.
To work with David one on one, in his 30-minute jump-start counseling session from anywhere in the world, visit him today at www.davidessel.com
