Shame? Guilt?
What are two of the biggest reasons that we never feel completed sensually, in our relationships?
If you’re in a relationship right now, do you feel complete sensually, complete sexually?
Or are there things missing?
Is it just OK, but not incredible?
For the past 30 years, number one best-selling author, counselor, and minister David Essel has been helping individuals to get to the root cause of why they’re not satisfied with their relationship in regards to sensuality and sexuality.
Below, David shares his thoughts on two of the most important keys that can damage our ability to feel complete within a relationship.
“Through the past 40 years, in my work in counseling, we have seen that about 80% of relationships are dysfunctional, unhealthy, filled with chaos.
And within the 80% of relationships that are not healthy, you can imagine that very few of these people are feeling completely satisfied with their sensual or sexual side of life.
So what are two of the biggest reasons, that we’re not satisfied with our sexuality? With our partner?
The answer? Shame. Guilt.
So many of us are afraid to tell our partner what we really like to do in the bedroom, and many of us are petrified to ask our partners what they would love for us to do for them in our sensual and sexual existence.
Shame and guilt, for many of us, have been with us from almost birth regarding sexuality!
Most religions fill your brain with shame and guilt regarding sex. Most parents fill your brain with shame and guilt regarding sex.
In my 40 years of work, I have yet to meet an individual as an adult who felt completely at ease to express all of their sexual desires and needs and all of their sexual desires and needs.
And the reason for this? Shame. Guilt.
if you’re told that the only reason to have sex is to have a child, and you happen to have sex without the intention of having a child, you could easily be filled with shame and guilt.
In our brand new book, “50+ Erotic Flavors of Love… Leaving the vanilla world for ecstasy!“, We share so many stories of individuals that felt ashamed of their bodies because their parents raised them in shame, or they felt guilty about even contemplating being open sexually because their parents shot down any discussions about sex, sensuality, and love.
In one story in the book, I share the life of a client who at the age of 12, when she started growing breasts, her father would make fun of her in front of others.
That put her into a tail span, where she shut down sexually until she went to college, and then she became a nymphomaniac and eventually a sex addict. We were able to help heal her sex addiction, and now she’s living a vibrant sexual and sensual life because of the work that we took her through. Her complete story is in the book.
I myself, even as a counselor, until 1997 was afraid to openly speak to my partners about what I wanted to do in the bedroom, what I wanted them to do for me and what could I possibly do for them in the world of erotica?
I was so afraid of being called a pig. I was so afraid that a woman I was dating would say I am “objectifying her.“ And so I was silent. Until I wasn’t.
When I broke my silence and started speaking openly about my sexual and sensual needs, it opened up a whole new world for me free of shame, free of guilt, as I learned to be more comfortable in my own skin.
We must eradicate shame and guilt if we want to be fully functioning, highly functioning sexual, and sensual beings.
We need to learn how to be open in our communication, which is what I will teach you via the book that just came out.
Live with love. Be open. Be honest. Explore your own sensual sexual needs… And then share those with your partner.“
David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny Mccarthy says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“
His work as a counselor and minister has been verified by organizations like Psychology Today, and marriage.com as verified David as one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the world.
To work with David one on one from anywhere in the world to enhance your sensual and sexual life, or to pick up his brand new book on sexuality, please visit www.DavidEssel.com
