Valentine's Day: What To Do If You're Single? Self Love?

OK, so for all my single friends out there, this holiday is one that many people absolutely cannot stand.


It’s all about commercialism.


I don’t have a partner so why should I even celebrate?


Or I feel like I’m single because my partner wants nothing to do with Valentine’s Day.


So how do we show self-love, how do we take a day meant for “love and couples“, if we’re single and make it into something special?


Below, number one best-selling author, counselor, master life coach, and minister David Essel gives us some ideas on what single people can do during a holiday that is meant for couples in love.


“ The other day in the gym I was talking to a woman and she brought up the concept of Valentine’s Day. She had read one of my articles on the Internet and said “David that’s great for people who are married or engaged or dating, but I’ve been single for a number of years, what the hell do I do on this day since I’m all alone?“


And I love the question… It’s a valid one… And it’s one we’re going to answer right now.


Here are a few ideas to think about when it comes to celebrating Valentine’s Day:


Number One. Since Valentine’s Day is about love, I want you to focus on self-love! So let’s get this whole thing that you have to have a partner to have a great Valentine’s Day out of our head, and focus on you! The most important person in the world who you should be loving deeply? Yes, it’s you!


Number Two. So if we really loved ourselves, we wouldn’t be jealous or angry about a holiday that is based on couples, correct? If we truly loved ourselves we would be planning right now for Valentine’s Day, “how am I going to make this Valentine’s Day special for me? How am I going to show myself that I love who I am so much, that I’m willing to celebrate Valentine’s Day even if I don’t have a partner?


Number Three. Do you happen to know any other single friends? Well of course you do! So I want you to think about talking to several people to get together to celebrate this day as single individuals, who are filled with self-love, and one of the ways we express that self love is by getting together with a few other friends and talking about what we love about each other.


Number Four. Send flowers to yourself! I’m laughing right now but I’m really being honest! Why not? When was the last time that you sent flowers to yourself? Probably never! Let’s start a new trend right now.


Number Five. You still have time, set up a massage for yourself on Valentine’s Day! There are massage centers all over the world that yes, will be open on Valentine’s Day… Or you can Google licensed massage therapists in your area and see if one might be willing to go to your house or you go to their business for a Valentine’s Day massage. Remember it’s all about self-love.


Number Six. If you’re open-minded, why don’t you think about buying something really sexy, maybe for women new lingerie or maybe for a guy a new outfit, as a sign of self love.


I had a long discussion with one of my clients who is currently in my program “Love, Relationships and Intimacy“, and she’s buying herself a vibrator for the very first time in her life!


We talked about all the different options she has, and she said you know why don’t I get something that is sexy, that I can use not only on Valentine’s Day but anytime I feel like it since I’m single?


And I think that’s a great idea!


Number Seven. Let’s plan on taking a 45-minute bubble bath, followed by ordering take out meals from one of your favorite restaurants, and watch one of your favorite movies or a brand new movie that you’ve never seen!


The whole concept of Valentine’s Day if you’re single, is to create a day of self-celebration… A day of self love…


So many of my clients over the years began complaining about being single on Valentine’s Day, and now they have their own plan, of how they’re going to make this day… A day of self-love.


I want you to do the same thing.“


David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny McCarthy says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“


His work as a counselor and minister has been verified by organizations like psychology today, and marriage.com, has verified David as one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the world.



To work with David one on one on your intimacy, your relationship skills, or to order his book on intimacy simply visit http://www.Davidessel.com 



By David Essel January 22, 2026
Are we adding to our suffering? 😳 Many people don’t realize, that what they think and say even to themselves can add immensely to the amount of suffering we are going through. We have the answer on this vide o.
By David Essel January 7, 2026
I am reaching out to all of my former clients, excitedly offering you a free 30 minute session to help you prepare and make 2026 your year! Whatever you’d like to work on, creating new goals, letting go of bad habits… We will rock in 30 minutes and get you moving in a beautiful way! Whether we talk about addictions, relationships, spirituality, finances, mental health, entrepreneurship, grief, weight loss,… For almost 50 years, we’ve covered the above topics and more! Just reply to this email, saying, “I would love my free 30 minute session with David as a former client!“ And my team will set it all up for you.😊 For everyone here who has not been a former client, I want to remind you that we always have gifts for you as well: when you go to the website on the homepage, you’ll see 5 of our top 16 best selling books absolutely free! So even if you never worked with me as a client, you still have this opportunity to get all five books at no charge. By doing this, you will also have an edge and making 2026 your year! I’m excited to help as many people as I can. The whole reason I’m on earth is to do this work, and I know you and I together can help you create a plan of action that will bring you what you desire in the next 365 days ahead! Sending love, David and Team David
message of hope
By David Essel January 2, 2026
I sit here today, like many people, looking back at the last five years and understanding the struggle that most of us have been going through. Like me, you might be experiencing a holiday season without a loved one Like me you might be experiencing a holiday season that has been preceded by several years of deep trauma, that for many of us is a part of our lives… Even though we wish it wasn’t. In the struggles we’ve all faced, I think it’s so important to figure out what we’re learning about ourselves, what we’re learning about our belief systems, what we’re learning about self-care and how we treat others. Normally people do these posts on January 1 getting everyone ready for the new year, but I wanted to do it today because 2026 is in our hands, it can be complete crap, or it can be something quite different. It really depends on our perspective, our mindset, and how we’re willing to change what isn’t working now into what will work in the near future. Some of us have had incredible health struggles. Others have had relationship break ups. Others have gone through Divorce. Others have gone through financial collapse. Others have tried to figure out the whole world of grieving, after losing a loved one when they’ve never been in that position before. Others have struggled with finding the right job, the right career Others have struggled with deep mental health issues, anxiety, depression, mental issues. So we come to this point, and we can either hold onto the struggles that we’ve gone through over the last five years or we can slowly start to release them and look for tools that are all over the place and how to change our mindset how to change our subconscious mind and how to expect the best after five years of hell for many of us. Is it possible? Hell, yes! But we have to decide now… How we’re going to strengthen our mental health, how we’re going to improve our physical health, how we’re going to improve our relationships, how we’re going to improve our financial situation, how we’re going to improve anything else not mentioned here that has been a stressful experience for us in the past. Many of us will find solace in a deep connection by going deeper into your spiritual or religious experiences. Others will find solace by finding a mentor, counselor, teacher who can assist us because they’ve already been in the situation we’re currently facing. Others will find solace “community“, whether it’s business groups or Recovery, groups, or mastermind groups, community could be the answer for many people who are struggling right now. Others will find solace simply by letting go! By releasing the constant grind… By releasing the Constant need to “have more buy more“ Others will find solace by going deeper into the world of volunteerism, whether it’s pet shelters or reading to the blind, there’s so many different ways that you can start to shift your identity from struggle to service. Others will find solace by going into the creative world, by learning a musical instrument or learning how to draw or paint or woodwork or some other type of hobby that allows them to tap into different parts of the brain to continue to grow as a human being, not to get stuck in the negativity. I have clients that have found great solace in the last six months by completely getting off of all social media. I have clients in the last six months that found solace by completely eliminating anything to do with the news or political conversations. I have clients in the last year that never believe they’d be able to meditate or learn diaphragmatic breathing or learn emotional regulation or lose 50 to 100 pounds and yet they’ve all done it in the last 12 months! But it didn’t happen because they started 30 days ago it’s happened because they started 12 months ago which is the whole purpose of my article here! Now is the time my brothers and sisters to begin the change! Now is the time to start to really learn about the power of your subconscious mind and how to turn it into one of the greatest assets you’ve ever had in your life and I promise you this… If you learn how to master The subconscious mind in 12 months, you’ll be a completely different person potentially in every area of your life! I’ve seen that happen in my life! I’ve seen it happen in thousands of thousands of clients that I’ve worked with over the past 50 years… Their lives completely changed in a year or less! This is why I am Asking you to strongly consider taking the time now up until January 1 to really get yourself going so on January 2 you know what you’re gonna be doing every day in order to shatter the old triggers, to shatter the old fears and insecurities, and to bring you to the place that you want to be financially, relationship, wise, healthwise, mentally, emotionally… I want you in 12 months or less to be exactly where you want to be and I know you can do it because I’ve seen it happen over 1000 times! You have the power to radically change your life right now if you so desire! You have the power to completely turn around anything that has been a trigger, and turn it into a non-event! Believe in yourself! Believe even deeper in yourself! I am wishing you the most amazing radical change if that is what’s necessary in your life, so you can live the life of your desires, your dreams and create at the same time opportunities for others to see what’s possible… You become the role model for success! I’m sending you so much love, so much joy, and a prayer that you take 2026 seriously enough to begin in writing the daily rituals that you will start to follow in order to create what you deserve. With love, David 
By David Essel December 30, 2025
The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.
Men Suffering? Triggers? Avoiding Healing
By David Essel December 3, 2025
Men Suffering? Triggers? Avoiding Healing
By David Essel November 18, 2025
Interview with David Essel!
By David Essel November 10, 2025
Sleep Talk? Anticipating Success? Healing VS Living?
Subconscious Power! Reframe Anxiety? Expect the Best?
By David Essel November 1, 2025
Subconscious Power! Reframe Anxiety? Expect the Best?
Die to Ourselves? I Expect the Best?  I love ME?
By David Essel October 22, 2025
Die to Ourselves? I Expect the Best? I love ME?
More Posts